Page 91 of Beast

Or maybe it’s Gaston himself. This man who came for me against all odds, who risked everything to get me back. He’s still such an enigma to me. I don’t know where we stand or what any of this means.

I can’t take the tense silence anymore. I have to know what he’s thinking.

“Gaston,” I say tentatively.

He doesn’t respond, doesn’t even glance my way. His jaw is clenched, his eyes fixed out the window.

I try again, louder this time. “Gaston, please. Talk to me.”

Finally he turns, regarding me with an inscrutable expression. “What is there to say?” His tone is clipped, detached.

I frown, confused by his aloofness. “You seem upset.”

He lets out a bitter laugh. “Upset? Yes, I suppose you could call it that.”

“Why?” I ask gently. “We got away, didn’t we? Estrada didn’t win.”

Gaston closes his eyes briefly, as if gathering patience. When he opens them, I’m startled to see a flash of raw emotion in their gray depths.

Fear.

“I’ve never been more afraid than I was today,” he says quietly. “When Estrada took you, I...” He trails off, jaw working.

I’ve never seen Gaston like this before. He’s always so controlled, so stoic.

“You were scared for me?” I whisper.

He nods. “I would’ve given that bastard anything to get you back safely. My company, my home, all of it. Your life is worth infinitely more to me.”

I’m touched by his admission. I reach over and lay my hand on top of his. After a moment, he turns his palm up to intertwine our fingers.

“But I couldn’t let him see weakness,” Gaston continues gruffly. “I had to outmaneuver him, or he would’ve used it against us again and again. He needed to understand not to cross me.”

His silence and tension are not anger at me, but residual fear and stress from the ordeal.

“It’s okay,” I murmur. “We’re together now. That’s all that matters.”

Gaston lifts our joined hands and brushes his lips over my knuckles. The tender gesture sends a shiver down my spine. “The thing is, Blake, I have spent my life keeping emotions at a minimum, never caring about anyone because it’s the worst thing in the world when you lose them.”

My brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“My family.” His jaw clenches. “My parents and sister died in a car accident when I was eight. I survived. And from that moment on, I vowed to never care about anyone else. Until you.”

My heart aches for him. “That’s terrible. I’m sorry.”

He holds a hand up. “I don’t want any pity, I’m merely telling you so you understand me a bit better. Understand why I always kept relationships like business transactions.”

“I understand.” I press my lips to his, overcome with emotion. He kisses me back gently, almost reverently. His usual demanding, dominant demeanor is absent. Instead, his touch is soft, caring.

My heart swells and I’m unable to hold back any longer. I pull away just enough to whisper against his mouth, “I love you.”

The words hang in the air between us as we study each other’s faces. His eyes search mine, seeming to look for any dishonesty. After a moment, his expression softens. He brushes a strand of hair from my cheek and tucks it behind my ear.

“I hoped with everything in me that you did,” he murmurs. “But I didn’t dare believe it until I heard you say it.”

I’ve never seen Gaston so exposed, so vulnerable. “I tried to fight it,” I admit. “I didn’t want to care about you. But I couldn’t help myself.”

He nods, looking pained. “I know I’ve done unforgivable things to you. I won’t insult you by asking for forgiveness.” His jaw tightens. “But I vow to spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of your love.”

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