Page 80 of Return on Love

“No. Ryan.”

“What?” I shriek, then lower my voice as people from neighboring tables give me strange looks. “Ryan? What’re you talking about?”

“I’ve known Ryan since Alex went to grad school and then helped him with his finances once his father died. I respect that boy. He’s gone through some tough times himself. Remember that day when he joined us for lunch?”

Of course, how can I forget that day? I nod and hope my face is not all red, just from its memory.

“He came to me after the meal and said, in quite a stern voice, I must say, that I need to be better with you. That I’m messing you up, and if I can’t do better, he’ll ensure I never see you or Alex again.”

He looks up at me. “I almost raised my hand at him. But you know how burly he is. It’s not exactly easy to hit him.” A little chuckle and sniffle escapes his lips.

He smiles and so do I, remembering Ryan’s muscular, towering figure. “So he stopped me and then begged me to see this therapist. Go there once, for Eva and Alex, he said. You owe them and yourself. Those were his words.” He pauses and holds my hand. “You know what, Eva. When I looked into his eyes, I saw genuine concern. I had been feeling depressed lately, so I just went for one session, then another, and another. It’s helped me see what I did. I know why I did it too. But it wasn’t fair to you. And Ryan made me see that.”

The waiter gets the cheque, and he pays it. I’m still processing what he just told me. I remember Ryan had gone to talk to him after lunch that day, but he’d said it was nothing. Was he really looking out for me? Then why did he leave me and not contact me since he went back?

We walk out of the restaurant, and he gives me an awkward hug again. “I hope we can meet again soon. Let me know where you decide to work. I’m probably not in a position to give advice, but I still will. Don’t let your pain or anger blind you into not seeing the goodness around you. Do what gives you happiness, even if it means less money. Be with people who make you smile.”

As I see him get into the cab and wave back at me, it seems as if I see him for the first time. Not as a father, but as a human. One who misses his wife terribly. A person who’s lonely. I realize that while he may not have been the best father, I too had not been the best daughter for him. I wish I’d been there more for him. Well, it’s not too late. We can work on our relationship even now.

I hail a cab and make my way to my apartment. I remember what Dad said about Ryan, and a smile comes over my lips. It would be nice working with him. Then I remember how he’s been avoiding me, and my heart aches. He didn’t even have the courtesy to send me the offer himself. Perhaps he didn’t really want it. Perhaps Gabriel is doing it to remain on my good books, so as not to affect their future with the firm. Whatever be the case, I have other places I can do similar work, and that’s what matters as of now.

When I reach home, I feel emotionally drained, so I login as YodaPrincess, hoping to see RamBam active, but he’s not online. I don’t know why I get drawn to some random chats with him whenever I’m feeling low. I just leave him a message to ping me when he’s online.

I play for some time, but nothing seems to hold my attention. There is chatter among the gaming community about MooreGames’ new game. The comments by YodaPrincess (me) seem to have had a positive effect. A lot of gamers have apparently signed in for early access to the next version.

As I’m reading what people are saying about the game, the chat box opens up. It’s him. “Hey, how’re you doing? Decided on your job yet?”

“Almost. What about you? Told the girl yet?”

“About to tell her right now. I’ll ping you later. I’m at her door.”

I’m still staring at the screen when there’s a knock on the door. Have I ordered something? Nothing that I remember. The building security system is down and the guard doesn’t even call before letting people in.

“Who’s there?” I ask. Every time I do that, Ryan’s face flashes before my eyes, admonishing me to check before opening the door.

“It’s me.” Wait, what? Am I dreaming? With Ryan’s face flashing before my eyes, has my subconscious started manifesting his voice too?

“Open up, Eva. Please.”

I open the door and there, standing tall like a stately Victorian mansion, is Ryan. In flesh and blood. My heart throbs in my ears.

“What’re you doing here?” I ask. “Is it some meeting at the firm?”

He shakes his head and in the next moment engulfs me in his warm embrace. “I had to come and see you, Eva. I hoped I could go on without you. But this time, I can’t. I don’t have it in me.”

“Then why have you been ghosting me?” I ask, pulling myself away and looking at his face.

He holds my hands between his, and looks up into my eyes. “Ghosting you? No. I… I didn’t know what you wanted. You said you never wanted to see me. And I… well, I couldn’t just be a friend or a client to you anymore. It’d kill me. And you obviously wanted nothing more. So I thought it’s best to honor your wishes.”

He leads me to the couch and I plop down. Ryan takes a seat beside me. It’s too much and too sudden. The last thing I want is to fall for a guy who lies to me. Even though his abs could put any Jedi to shame. I’m sure if Queen Amidala had seen Ryan before Anakin, she would’ve fallen for him instead. Maybe then Anakin wouldn’t have turned to the dark side. Perhaps love could’ve saved them all after all.

“Then why offer me a job? Or was that not your decision?”

“That was a business call, made by all of us. We thought you’d make a great addition to the team. When Bernard told me you’d refused the partnership offer, we decided to take it forward. I couldn’t call you myself because Mom wasn’t well, so I had Gabriel call you.”

I shake my head. “So you came here to tell me about the offer?”

“No. Of course not. I just had to speak to you. I’m going back by the first flight tomorrow morning. It’s Jen’s birthday and I have to be there. But I needed to see you.”

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