Page 85 of Secrets & Sake

Hiro. Our Hiro. Keep us. Love us. Please.

I wrap a clawed hand around his throat and lean down, brushing my fangs over his shoulder. “Tell me to leave, Sunshine. Tell me you don’t want me and, maybe, I’ll believe you.”

Hiro’s voice quakes when he whispers, “Raiden…”

“Fuck the investigation. Fuck Namikawa. Fuck all of it. I don’t care. You and me, Hiro, that’s all that matters. Don’t do this to me. We’re mates. You’re my fucking mate, Hiro. Don’t push me away.”

Hiro’s eyes close as I lean in, his breath hot on my mouth.

Don’t push me away.

Please.

Please.

“Stop!” Hiro’s palms slam into my chest and send me stumbling back. The shock that rips through me dulls my fangs and claws. My wolf snarls within, but we can’t defy our mate.

Blinking back tears, Hiro chokes, “Get out. Now.”

And the heart I’d thought turned to stone long ago shatters in my chest.

Love always ends in heartbreak. I should have learned my lesson.

All I want is to scream. To howl my agony to the moon. But I can’t even speak. Can’t even look at him as I turn my back and run from the apartment. It started raining while we were inside, fat heavy drops that cascade down on me in seconds. Yanking open the door to my car, I leap inside and slam it shut so hard, it’s a wonder the glass doesn’t shatter.

“Fuck!” I pound on the wheel. My eyes sting. My throat aches.

What do I do? How can I make this pain go away? I can’t breathe. I’m so fucking angry. Everything hurts. What can I do? How do I make it stop?

There’s a beast howling in my soul. My wolf is furious, and he’s howling for our mate. No matter how much I scream that Hiro isn’t mine, was never mine, I can’t shut him up.

If I could claw back every little piece of myself I gave to him, then I would.

I allow myself one single tear over Jinta Onodera. The first tear I’ve shed since my mother left. But that’s it. That’s all.

I will never let another person hurt me like this again.

Chapter 23

When I open my eyes, dread pins me to the futon.

What have I done?

I pushed away the only man I’ve ever loved, and for what?

I know he didn’t cheat on me. Raiden would never do that. Yet when I saw Katsuki kiss him, it was like I was watching him steal Takahiro away from me all over again. My confrontation with Takada where he said I could never be what Raiden needed, then that disastrous dinner with my family really fucked with my head.

It was like all my self-doubts and inadequacies boiled over until I couldn’t take it anymore. I self-destructed, and now… oh, god. Raiden will never forgive me. Regret claws at my heart, and I hide my face in my pillow. I wish I could take it all back. I hate that I hurt him. I let my own insecurities destroy the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

How can I make this right?

My phone buzzes on the floor.

Could it be…

Rolling over so fast I almost fall out of bed, I snatch up my phone. My hope crumbles.

Ren: Hey. I got stood up for a lunch date. Want to hang?

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