Page 9 of Mine to Worship

A knock sounds at the door, pulling me from my thoughts. Austin walks into my room. His entire demeanor is serious, so different from the easy-going man I met and played cards with.

“I got your test results.” He stares at the clipboard clutched between his hands.

The beat of my heart and the drips of the IV are like drums to my ears.

The silence stretches unbearably.

I already know what he’s going to say.

My mouth feels dry and I tuck my hands in my lap. I raise my eyes, urging him to say it.

“You’re pregnant.” He sighs, confirming what I’d been suspecting.

His words pulverize the remaining crumbles of denial. I place my hands on my stomach. I can’t say it’s a surprise.

Kian will always be a part of me.

“It looks like you’re suffering from hyperemesis gravidarum. I want to keep you under observation.”

He explains the symptoms to me: severe nausea and vomiting, weight loss, aversion to food. Everything I have experienced in the last three days.

“For some women, the condition usually lasts a lot longer than the first trimester.”

Words escape me. I am pregnant. I am going to be a mom.

“How far along am I?”

“Six weeks.”

A single tear rolls down my cheek and I lick it off my lips. So, it happened before that last night.

“Take some time to think, and let me know what you’d like to do,” Austin tells me, face drawn up with concern.

He must think I’m upset about the news. I’m just relieved it happened when we were in love and not when we were hating each other. I caress my stomach.

“I’d like to be alone.”

“Of course.” He tips his head to me and adds, “I am here if you need me. Just press the button and a nurse will come right away.”

“Thank you.”

Aunt Esther and Jake rush in and I tell them the news. My aunt is rooted on the spot and Jake paces, running a hand through his hair, repeating, “We’re going to be fine.”

I burst into laughter, lightheaded. I am not alone.

My thoughts fly to Kian, and hurt unleashes in my chest. This complicates everything.

When they leave me alone with my thoughts and the baby growing inside me, tiredness weighs me down.

“We’re going to be fine, little one.”

With my hand on my belly, I fall asleep.

Chapter 4

Kian

“It goes straight to voicemail!” Brandon says for the umpteenth time this week as he tries to reach Ellia.

---