Page 146 of Mine to Worship

“Can you take her?” he asks.

“You won’t drop her.”

“I don’t want to risk it. How do you do this? You’re so calm.” His face twists up in disbelief.

“Do what?”

“Stay sane?”

I don’t even have to think as I answer, “I have Ellia.”

He eyes the door she disappeared behind, and he says, “I am happy for you. I really am.”

I squeeze his shoulder.

“So, Jillian is…”

“Crazy. I am sorry for what happened.”

I wave him off and he blinks at me with incredulity.

“It’s not your fault. Is she getting treatment?” I ask and a pang of worry hits my chest seeing Brandon’s features transformed with dejection, his slumped shoulders, the bags under his eyes, a forlorn look on his face.

“Yes, but that woman in there is not my mother.”

“We’re both kind of orphans now.”

“To the most fucked up family.”

“We can start our own,” I say in an attempt to lift his spirits.

“You’ve changed.”

He narrows his eyes and I pick my daughter up from his arms when she fusses.

“When I saw my baby for the first time, she put me on my knees.”

How the fuck could you ever see your child, hold it, and then abandon it, or think of it as a payment… or as your possession? I kiss Kira’s soft cheek, inhaling her sweet and addictive smell.

“What about Grandpa?”

“He’ll fly down in the next few days.”

There is no force on earth that could keep me away, but that was the choice Walter made, and he will never be my father in my eyes.

Chapter 46

Ellia

With every day, my love grows for my baby. After the initial learning curve, a routine sets or maybe we got used to being functional zombies.

Kian is holding her to his chest. He’s totally enamored with her.

“She can’t be our kid, she’s an angel.”

“She won’t be for long if you turn into a human marsupial.” I try for a chastising tone but fail.

Kian is as I knew he would be, committed, and all daddy. If I don’t watch out, Kira will wrap him around her finger without even blinking.

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