Page 71 of Just Between Us

There has never been a second where I’ve been afraid of him. Even now, after reading everything, I’m not, but a whirring has begun in my head, the reality of what this is sinking in.

“Are you?” I ask.

He doesn’t say anything for a second, as if he’s weighing the question in his head. “I love you, Levi. I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you and I’d never let anyone, or anything hurt you.”

Cole doesn’t lie—ever. His not answering that question tells its own truth. For the first time, I think I understand him completely.

He’s hidden this part of himself from me because he thought I wouldn’t love him but he’s not the only one who was hiding something. We’ve both been lying.

I shake my head. “I have to go,” I say quietly. “Please let me go.”

Cole’s eyes flicker, and I know I’ve hurt him, but he doesn’t fight me. He lets me go and takes a step back like I burn.

“Where are you going to go?” he asks softly. I hate myself for doing this, but I need to go.

I swallow. “My parents’.”

He nods once. “Let me take you.”

He doesn’t ask me to stay.

“I can drive,” I whisper.

The drive to Holland Park is short.My father is waiting for me with the door open and when he sees my wet eyes, he hugs me tightly. He doesn’t ask any questions, just makes us both a cup of tea and sends me to bed. When I fall asleep, my dreams leave me in the middle of a fire and Cole screaming.

Chapter Eighteen: Cole

22 YEARS AGO

Nick was looking at me, that smirk he kept reserved for me painting his lips. “We should play a game together,” he said.

It was a hot July summer afternoon, and we’d drifted far on the grounds, too far from anyone near the house to see us.

“You want to play with me?” I asked, the surprise clear in my small voice.

“Of course,” Nick said, that smirk still on his face. “You know how to play Hide and Seek, right? You count in that shed so you can’t see me, and I’ll find somewhere to hide, okay?”

I followed his eyes to the wooden shed. It was an old toolshed that was rusting and falling apart. I cringed at the idea of insects and spiders in there, but Nick wanted to play with me for the first time in forever and I wasn’t going to let the opportunity to hang out with my brother pass.

I nodded happily, blocking the sun with my hand as I opened the door to the dingy shed. When I entered the dark cool space, my eyes roamed, landing on the cobwebs and the tufts of grass that were growing through the gravel. Before I could take it all in, the door shut behind me, thrusting me into almost complete darkness.

“Nick?” I called.

“Count to twenty!” he shouted on the other side of the door.

I did as I was told but when I got to ten, I heard the unmistakable sound of a bolt sliding into its lock. I stopped counting. “Nick?” I called again.

No answer.

“Nick!”

Nothing.

I rushed to the door and tried to force it open, but it was stuck. I pulled again, mustering all the strength my five-year-old body could. It must have been hours until I figured out that Nick wasn’t joking, that he had abandoned me in a shed so far from the house, no one would come to find me. I shouted until my voice was hoarse, but the light eventually disappeared, and night fell, the coolness of the evening settling in and chilling me until I was sure I’d freeze.

I could have been in there for days; I don’t remember but eventually, one of the groundsmen opened the door when he heard a quiet knocking. Nick lied and said we hadn’t been together, and he had no idea where I was. Our nanny believed him because we never spent any time together.

I’d been sick for days after the shed but as soon as I could get up, I slipped into his room with the gardener knife I’d found in there. I hadn’t killed Socks because I wanted to murder an innocent animal; I just wanted to hurt Nick.

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