Page 61 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

The fever.

The bath.

Oh, the bath.

Him undressing me with so much care as if I would break at any point.

The kiss on my forehead.

You’re the strongest person I know.

You survived.

Then I remember tears falling from my eyes right before darkness took over and I fell unconscious.

Now it’s the next morning and I don’t know whether to feel embarrassed that he not only saw me naked and in such a vulnerable state or grateful that he took care of me.

Honestly, I am both.

No one has ever taken care of me. Not really. It has always been the other way around.

That is why I never know how to react when someone does something nice for me. I’m not used to it.

But then a thought pops up, alarming me.

Did I say something I shouldn’t have? I try to think back but the fog in my brain only allows me a few recollections of the day before. Did he find out that I’m— Greta whines, nudging me with her cold, tiny nose. I glance at my cat sitting on my chest, her small, curious eyes on me. I wonder if she’d been trying to wake me. She does that a lot in the morning as if she’s worried I won’t wake up.

“It’s okay, Greta,” I say, petting her. “I’m fine.”

I rub my face and instantly draw my hands away. Because my gloves are off. I abruptly sat up, causing Greta to jump on the night table.

I remember not having them on when I was standing outside in the rain.

He saw…

Does he know?

Do my scars disgust him?

Does he believe me to be weak now that he has seen my pain that’s visible in the scars on my hands?

I take a deep breath in and try to calm my racing heart.

I sit up and push the damp sheet off, my head no longer pounding with a migraine like yesterday.

Stretching, I move my head side to side when I see a brown bear lying next to me.

A bear that I know all too well.

Mr. Bug Eye.

Although the stuffed bear looks different, very different from the last time I saw him.

My bear was torn completely and has a missing eye.

This one has all its stuffing inside and both eyes. Looking closer I notice this bear has been stitched and one of the eyes is a button instead of a plastic ball. The small bear now has glasses made of some sort of plastic.

Grabbing the bear, I wonder who did this. Was it Vitali? A sob escapes me when I think about Vitali Solonik fixing my bear for me. How did he get his hands on it? And why would he do this for me?

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