Page 136 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

Only then will the voices finally disappear.

They will be free too.

From the painful reminder of their past. From Logan. That’s the least I can do for the people who brought me back to life even if it was for only a little while.

I never dreamed of one day in the sun like my sisters used to but one day came for me regardless.

And for the first time since I was a young girl with more demons than grown men who fought wars, I wish it didn’t have to end like this.

I wish for more. Just… more.

“You can, kotyonok.” This man, my savior, and my ruin, takes a tentative step closer while I take two steps back. This is how the story ends. It’s poetic really… just like our love. “I got you. I always have and I always will. We do this together. Always us or have you forgotten!” He shouts the last part, shredding my soul into a million tiny pieces.

Without looking away from those mesmerizing gray eyes that have the power to bring a dead heart back to life, I whisper, feeling tired. “This is no longer your war.” This was always my battle. My war. The endgame until he barged into my world and rearranged all my perfectly laid plans.

He takes a long pause before he speaks again. “What is this nonsense? Your wars will always be mine. I am your sword and your shield or have you forgotten? You only have to take my hand, Moya dusha. Just take my fucking hand!” My eyes darted to his gloved hand and for a second, for a long second that felt like an eternity, I imagined a future where Vitali stood by my side and helped me fight my battles. It’s bittersweet.

I didn’t use to dream or make wishes like most humans do. My father beat and burned the childlike innocence out of me before the real world had the chance to, but then I met this man and my world was no longer empty, cold, and dreamless.

It wasn’t perfect by any means but it was more than it once was.

It’s warm and full of a thousand emotions I can’t kill. Trust me, I tried.

But this is not a man easily pushed to the shadows, no. He stormed inside the iron-clad walls I spent years carefully building around my soul and took possession of it.

My beautiful Russian.

The other half of my black soul.

Vitali.

Looking at him now, standing tall and so very mad with a war raging in his eyes, I just wish we could meet again in another life.

Maybe I could be someone worth loving. Someone who adds magic and light to his world instead of plaguing it with more darkness.

For the first time in a long time, I wish for more.

More than what I am.

But life doesn’t work like that. It never has. At least not for women like me.

Knowing what I need to do next, I put up my walls for the last time and go through with what I came here to do. “I can’t let him get away with it.” I breathe through my nose and try to calm my racing heart. A heart that’s a second away from becoming ash, all because of the look on the face of the man that I love. Love, what a strange, but beautiful feeling. “Don’t forget me...”

I move backward toward my ending and he, like every time before, follows me. “Don’t you fucking dare!” He bellows and I swear I can feel the ground shake under my feet.

He looks like an angry God ready to take down the world if I ask it of him. His gaze alone has the power to freeze people on the spot and send them to an early grave.

I close my eyes, I save the look on his face in my memory and maybe I can take it with me to wherever the hell a soul like mine ends up.

Then, it only takes a second for my entire world to go up in flames.

Only a second.

Just how long it takes for a heart to break.

This time three hearts were shattering into a million tiny pieces at our feet.

“Kadra!”

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