Page 88 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

And all I can think of as he kisses me in this crowded restaurant is that I want to be the woman he kisses at the end of each night.

Every night for the rest of my life.

Chapter 26

KADRA

A KING SO MINE

“All I ever see is you.” — V

Hours later, after leaving the restaurant and returning home I find myself feeling restless. If I needed proof that I do indeed need to get my head checked immediately this would be it. Because instead of locking myself in my room and falling asleep, I’ve been roaming the hallways as if I was the ghost that haunts this mansion. For some time that is exactly what I was. A ghost. Someone that was just existing and not truly living but that has changed and how fucked up is it that now when life is testing my will to live is when I feel most alive. When the clock tortures me with the possibility of not being here for much longer is when a fire is lit inside my soul.

My head is still a mess but one thing is clear… I no longer want to be a ghost. I want to feel even if it hurts me, even if it kills me. I might die or hell I might beat this and it’ll all one day be just one of my many painful memories.

Maybe that is why I ended up here now and why my heart is beating as if I finished running a 10K marathon.

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths.

Inhale.

Exhale.

When I open my eyes, the nerves are gone.

In the quiet of night while everyone is already gone to bed, I’m stuck here, in front of his bedroom door.

It doesn’t matter that I spent the entire day with him. It’s not enough. Will it ever be enough? I don’t think I will ever get enough of him. Enough of this feeling in my chest that makes my pulse race and my heart beat faster.

Because when I’m with Vitali Solonik I feel the same rush I feel when I play with my knives. The same peaceful feeling takes over my senses like when I play my cello. It’s like the man has become an addiction I can’t shake.

I don’t want to shake him out of my system either.

Ironically the man is both my war and peace.

Chaos.

Always has been and he will always be. Of that I am sure.

A small smile appears on my face when I see that his door is slightly open. I think back to the time I gave him a hard time for not knocking before entering a room and how he shrugged it off. If you don’t want me to come in then you should lock your doors.

I should knock yet I don’t.

Gently pushing the door open, the first thing I notice is how dark the room is except for the moonlight coming through the window.

He must be sleeping.

Feeling disappointed I turn to leave when I hear the soft whisper of my name.

Maybe I’m hearing things. It’s late and a lot has been on my mind lately but then I hear it again.

“Kadra…” This time there is a hissing sound.

That was definitely my name, in a little chant, repeated over and over. His voice is soft and deep, and a little gravelly. I step further inside the room so I can see him more clearly. When I’m finally able to see him better, I am taken back with the image he makes lying in black silk sheets completely naked with his large, tattooed hand wrapped around his cock.

I suck in a breath, feeling my heart start to race and heat shoots straight to the center of me. To a place that has been dead for years only coming alive when I think about this man. I press my legs together to ease some of the ache that has suddenly pressed hard against my clit. It’s thumping like mad, and my nipples are aching pinpoints against my nightdress.

His breathing quickens and the sounds coming from him shakes me to my core. My entire body starts buzzing with energy as I stand back and watch him pleasuring himself. Then I think about my name and how sweet and sexy it sounded coming from his lips.

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