Page 66 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

The smile is back.

Good.

“Did the bear make you feel better?” He asks while munching on a candy that looks like a tongue. Great, Crow’s lack of table manners is rubbing off on him.

Wait, did he just say bear?

Mr. Bug Eyes.

Putting the teacup down, I asked him. “Was it you? Did you fix him for me?”

Azariel shakes his head. “Vitali did.” He pops another candy into his mouth.

So the Russian did fix my bear and this sweet boy gave it to him.

“I found it and thought it would make you feel better.” Love squeezes my heart as I look at Azariel. He shrugs as if it’s nothing when to me it is everything. “He likes you, you know.”

“Who?” I act dumb.

“Vitali.”

I don’t know what to say to that. What is there to say? Instead, I smile softly at him and change the topic before I confess all that’s in my bruised heart to a seven-year-old. “Where did you get the idea for a tea party?” I ask while reaching forward and grabbing a caramel candy.

“Vitali says you would appreciate it.”

My eyes darted to his. “Vitali say that?”

“Yes.” He nods then picks up his teacup and takes a sip. “He said you loved tea parties when you were younger.” A quick flash of all the times Vitali appeared in that cemetery and found me having tea parties on my own flashes through my mind. I remember all the times I placed another teacup just in case. “If you want we can do this again,” Azariel says, bringing me back to the present and pulling me away from the past. “A tea party and we can invite the others. You won’t have to drink tea alone.”

A thousand emotions I can’t name right now take over my senses and my throat starts to itch. Tears gather in my eyes.

You won’t have to drink alone.

Looking at him takes me back to when I was his age and I was playing with my tea set alone.

“Azariel.”

“Yes?” He places another cherry on the tiny ceramic plate in front of me.

You’re everything I wanted.

You’re everything that’s good in this world.

You light up my day whenever you look or smile at me.

You’re the dream that I lost.

Looking at him looking back at me so sweetly. I think of the treasure I lost once and the pain in my chest becomes unbearable but I conceal it and smile through that pain because that dream never had the chance to come true but Azariel did.

Azariel is the dream I never dared to dream but came true anyway.

Instead of revealing all those truths I chose to give him another. A truth I hold close to my heart. “I’m glad you’re home.”

He’s not smiling now but his eyes, perfect grays, shine so brightly. “I’m glad to be home.”

The heart that was buried deep where no one could ever find it is now beating stronger than ever and all because of this boy and the man who with just one look sets my world aflame.

I think about everyone who means something to me.

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