Page 161 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

Then my eyes fall on the teenager standing back watching his sister with a small smile on his handsome face. Even though he’s almost as tall as me, he is still my boy. My little king. A boy who was born in darkness but now knows only love.

Then there’s him.

The love of my life.

The life of my love.

The man that darkness covers him like a black cloak yet he manages to light up our world.

Awareness creeps in as I feel his presence.

A crow flies above me and stops in Amadeo’s headstone.

I smile.

“We meet again, Solonik.” I feel his strong arms envelope me from behind and his hot breath on my neck.

“In this life and the next, Mrs. Solonik.”

“Ask me again.” I whisper.

His arms tighten around me. “What?”

“Ask me if I believe in fairytales.”

After a moment, he does. “Do you believe in fairytales, love?”

Flashes of my life before Vitali assaulted me making me appreciate all the more the sweet ones that flash in my mind next. Every single memory I share with him. Our past. Our wedding. Our love. Our kids.

Then I think of the little life that could’ve been but ended before I had a chance to hold him or her in my arms. The child that was made from hate and pain.

I wanted you.

I mourned you.

I love you just as much as I love them.

In the next life, I’ll find you too.

I promise.

I close my eyes and breathe through the pain of that loss that still to this day hurts.

Do I believe in fairytales? I look at my princess dancing in the snow, smiling up at the sky. Then, I turn my gaze to my prince standing tall and proud with his usual brooding look. Lastly, I feel my king at my back and I know the answer. I’ve known it for as long as I’ve met this man. My Russian.

“I do.” I turn my face as Vitali kisses my neck and holds me closer to his body. God, I love him. How is it possible that I love him more than I did yesterday and less than I will tomorrow.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Raiza spots her father and in a second rushes our way with a smile on her face and her hair flying in all directions. Before she throws her arms around her father, she stands in front of me, her tiny black boots touch my own boots. Then my daughter stands on her tippy toes and throws her head back so she can see me better. “Kisses, mommy?”

Crack.

Love pours out of me.

Vitali’s arms fall and he releases me. Bending over, I grab my daughter’s tiny face, squish her cheeks together and give her a big kiss on her mouth before peppering her lovely face in kisses.

I finally made my peace with the fact that I am darkness and I don’t mind it. Not for one second.

Because my darkness is what gives my daughter, my son, and my husband the chance to shine. They shine so brightly. They give me the light I need to carry on. “I love you, mommy.” she grins at me, reminding me so much of her father when she does.

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