Page 156 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

“What?” I chuckle feeling tired yet not wanting to close my eyes.

“She’s going to look like you and there will be all kinds of little shits trying to get into her pants.” My husband looks pissed even talking about it.

“You’re crazy.” I smile.

He smirks. “For you. Always you.” Vitali leans forward and kisses my lips then the top of our baby girl’s head. “Welcome to the outside, little love. We’ve been dreaming of you.”

Our dream is finally complete.

Tears fell from my eyes at seeing his face light up with so much love and hope. The same way he looks at my Azariel.

“Well, this little girl is very angry but healthy,” One of the nurses announces as he brings over my daughter. He lays her in my chest and just like her father and brother, my baby steals all the air from my lungs. She looks just like me and that fact makes me proud as elation spreads through my veins. During the nine months she was inside of me, I kept seeing a baby boy whenever I dreamed of her. A boy that looks just like Vitali and Azariel. I longed for that but then life surprised me with this tiny princess that is the spitting image of my biological father and me.

For so long I felt out of place, never quite fitting in or like the black sheep in my family and now I have someone that looks just like me. Someone who now shares my birthday.

I no longer dread the day. Now I’ll celebrate it and fill it with love and joy for her.

My darling girl.

For my Russian and my sweet boy, Azariel.

“Do we have a name for this little princess yet?”

I glanced from Vitali to our daughter, not sure what we were going to do. We didn’t have to think about girls’ names because all this time I was so sure it was a boy.

Looking down at my girl, I find myself smiling from ear to ear when she raises her tiny fist in the air and gives us a small smile.

Then it comes to me.

“Raiza.” I lift my gaze and look at my husband. “Raiza Solonik.” I kiss my baby’s tiny hand. “A strong name for a strong girl.”

Vitali’s eyes soften and he grins down at me. “Raiza is perfect.” He leans down and pokes her tiny nose, making Raiza open her eyes for a few seconds before closing them again. My breath hitches when I see the color of her eyes. Vitali grins when he notices too. Gray. My favorite color.

“Raiza Renata Solonik,” I say the name as a question, but it feels right on my tongue and I grin at my Russian.

There had been times in my life when I would look at this man and think that was the happiest day of my life. The first time he told me he loved me. The day we got married. When he made me the mother of his firstborn. When we found out we were pregnant… But it was now, right at this moment, that I knew I’d never been happier in my life. And all because of the man sitting right beside me.

“Until the sun dies,” I whisper.

“I love you, too.” He kisses my lips, holding our daughter’s hand. “Until the sun dies.”

A few hours later, the missing piece of this little family that fills my life with purpose joins us. Azariel takes one look and his baby sister and love shines in those eyes the same as my husband.

Because of these three humans, I wake up each day wanting to chew up the world for them and drop it at their feet.

Because of them, my days are no longer sad and empty but filled with love, joy, and a whole lot of color.

Especially my favorite shade of gray.

* * *

“You did amazing, Sirius. I’m proud of you.” I look up as my older sister, Arianna, comes to stand next to me on the hospital bed and then leans, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. “I did, didn’t I?” I reply quietly, turning to watch my boys mingle with my family as if they have always belonged.

Vitali, Azariel, Crow, Vernon, and now Grim.

“They love you.” There’s mirth in my sister’s green eyes as she stares at all the men who have stood behind me and love me in their own way even on my darkest days.

“I love them,” I say, then add, “I once thought I would never find this, you know? People who loved me as much as you and Mila do. I just never thought I would.” Her arm tightens around me. “I’m glad I was wrong about that.”

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