Page 148 of Kadra: The Unfeeling

I can’t take my eyes off his smile as his hands and mouth caress my skin like he wanted to memorize every inch of it.

Same, my Russian. Same.

I whisper another dream of mine that I never thought would come true. A dream I buried a long time ago with my heart until this man put the broken pieces of me back together. Until he revived something inside of me that had died a long time ago.

Love.

Hope.

Dreams.

Forever.

Yes, I’m finally home.

Holding his gaze, I give him my truth. “I want you to be mine forever…” I breathe out.

But forever is not long enough.

I want him until every star in the sky loses its shine.

The next day he made that dream come true.

* * *

Next Day

Early in the morning, I find myself alone in Vitali’s bed but he’s nowhere to be found. Getting out of bed, I quickly put my clothes back on and went in search of him. It’s strange. I’ve been without him, both of them for a year and now that I’m here so close, I miss them. I still miss them. That’s something new I’ve learned recently about love.

You never stop missing them, not even when they are right next to you. It’s new and a beautiful feeling.

Yesterday, I was so busy making up for lost time that I didn’t have time to look around me at the life Vitali and Azariel now have here in New York.

Their condo has zero color and honestly it feels as if they just moved in instead of living here for a year. As I walk down the stairs I take everything in and I can’t shake the thought that maybe it was intentional. They didn’t make this place their home as if they didn’t intend to stay here long.

That has my heart beating faster and steadily.

They were waiting for me…

Hurrying my step eager to see my Russian again and to finally be with the little human who stole my heart. Although I exchanged letters and emails with Azariel it’s not the same as being able to hold him in my arms or have him near me. My heart was breaking not having him with me but I knew he was safe with his father and also my men, Crow and Vernon were tasked with keeping them both safe not that my Russian needed any rescue but still I gave the order.

As long as there is breath in my body, nothing will ever hurt them again.

I look everywhere for them but it’s until I cross paths with Grim that I find out exactly where they are. The man nods his head towards the garden telling me that’s where I should go. Looking him in the eye, I make sure he can read my lips at the same time I sign the words ’Thank you.’ His eyes widened a bit as if he didn’t expect that. Not from me.

I haven’t totally had a personality transplant. I still hate sunny days and I still have an aversion for other humans that are not my people. Yet, Grim is one of my people now. He risked his life for my Azariel. He fought side by side with us to dismantle the biggest trafficking ring in the country while also being my man’s most loyal guard and… friend.

His lip twitches but he doesn’t smile. These men are just like I was before my heart found a home and I hope they find their happy place in this messed up world we live in. I honestly do. Because lately I see all the things I didn’t before. I see Vernon’s heartbreak under his icy exterior. I see the pain behind Crow’s funny jokes and carefree attitude.

Now here, looking at Grim I see a darkness in him that makes the hairs behind my neck stand. I only ever witnessed that kind of darkness in one man.

Mine.

Grim, steps back and opens the glass doors that lead to the building’s garden and that’s when I see them.

My heart out of my chest.

Vitali and Azariel stand together under a string of lights set up around the pergola. Wondering what they’re up to, I walk toward them, and my heart lodges in my throat when Vitali drops to one knee.

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