Page 44 of Mila: The Godfather

I shared my condition with him, and he just shrugged as if it was nothing. As if me being different from him means nothing at all to him. I didn’t know what I expected, but his reaction took me by surprise. Normally, people recoil or get a sympathetic look on their faces as if I’ve suddenly declared myself brainless. But a shrug? I . . . well, I don’t recall ever getting that reaction before.

My brain is in shambles, and every second I spend with Riagan has proven that, maybe, just maybe a messy life, heart, and mind are not that bad after all. This is bad. Very bad. Something you need to know about me is that I have certain compulsions and obsessions. Ones who make sense to me but not to everyone else. When I find something fascinating…I keep it for myself.

I study it, I take care of it until I become attached to it.

Riagan O’Sullivan, with his big, expressive eyes, pretty smile, and weird ability to make me feel things I have never felt before is becoming a dangerous obsession. One I am not sure I can fight.

The wind blows softly, touching my face which in return makes me smile.

I remember that I am not alone when my newest obsession speaks up. “Can you smell the sea from all the way here?” Scrunching my nose, I look over my shoulder and notice Riagan towering over me. The sun is so bright that I have to raise my hand to cover my eyes a bit. I think I’ve never witnessed the sun shining this bright, or maybe it’s just my mind playing games with me. All I truly know is Detroit’s weather—it’s sunny days can’t compare to this.

Without meeting Riagan’s eyes, I mumble truthfully. “I wouldn’t know exactly what the sea smells like.” I assume salt and seaweed. “I’ve never been to a beach before. What I know is from the internet and what Carlotta and Gus tell me.” Frowning, I try not to beat myself up for admitting that aloud. In truth, I feel stupid. What must he think of me? That not only I’m a naive girl but an inexperienced one at mostly everything. Taking a deep breath, I cool my nerves and look straightforward, wondering how it is possible to see the sea from all the way up here.

Feeling braver than I felt moments ago, I give this man that I don’t really know another truth of mine. “I don’t know much about the world aside from what I read on the internet and watch on TV.”

“That’s changing from here on out, sweetheart.” He says in that rough yet soft tone of his that makes me want to listen to his voice for hours. It’s weird how someone’s voice can cause such an unfamiliar reaction in me.

Confused, I turned his way again. “How so?” My eyes trail from his neck to his eyes, and I’m proud that I manage to hold his gaze for far longer than I ever looked at anyone else. What is it about him? Why do I act differently with him, and why do I like feeling his eyes on me when before it displeased me tremendously to have any attention on me? Good or bad. But not him. Not this man. The question is why?

“You’ll see,” he says in a husky tone, different from before, that makes the hair on the back of my neck rise and goosebumps spread on my skin.

“You’re so confusing to me,” I whisper to myself. What an odd day. My life has always been ordinary until now.

Out of nowhere, a sports car—a bright blue Ferrari— pulls up in front of him with the doors pulled up.

I’ve seen plenty of expensive cars before, but none ever got my attention. Cars are material things, but this one is too pretty with its color that reminds me of the sea not so far from us.

After a long moment of us standing in silence watching the car, Riagan side-steps me, walks around the Ferrari, and stops next to the passenger side. I’m no longer admiring the car but looking at the tattooed giant. There’s a wide grin and an intense look in his eyes. He motions for me to come forward.

“You only get one life, Mila Parisi. Do you want to waste it away wondering what it feels like to truly live and not just exist, or do you want to come with me and see for yourself how beautiful and freeing it could be?”

His words wash over me, reminding me of my reality.

Living and not just existing… How does that feel? Because all I know is surviving. If I could just survive and endure one more day in solitude, then perhaps something good would come the next day, but it never did. It got better, yes, but it was always the same.

Lonely.

Colorless.

Even when I stayed positive and did my best to be grateful to be alive.

I was alive, but I was not living.

His words penetrate my mind, and I find myself stuck between my logical side and my curious side.

A part of me tells me this is dangerous, and the other part of me, the little girl who lived in only shadows, craves more.

More from life than lonely castles and cold shadows.

She wants to make her dreams a reality.

What this man is doing now.

Because it must be meant to be, no? Flying. Visiting other countries. This stunning place, Turks and Caicos are all dreams I never thought possible, and yet, I am here.

One day, Mila…My sister’s voice from when we were young girls dreaming of a better life plays through my mind, drowning all the doubts.

I made a choice.

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