Page 23 of Mila: The Godfather

“Don’t thank me yet, kid.” He mumbles while concentrating on the road ahead. “Let’s try and get this suicide mission done without me getting my balls chopped by the boss. You and I both know she’ll use them as stress balls.” He shivers, but then a smile breaks free when he sees the look on my face.

I cringe, and suddenly my face falls.

Is he joking? He certainly isn’t. My sister would hurt him when she realized he helped me leave not only the mansion but the city.

Panic takes over me, making me stutter. “T-t-turn around. It’s n-no—” I don’t get to finish my sentence because Gus interrupts me. “Hey, it’s okay. It was a bad joke.”

No.

“It’s the truth,” I whisper. Maybe this is why my sister doesn’t trust me to handle myself out in the world. This is a bad decision I’ve made, and although I pride myself on being a logical person because logic makes sense to me while emotions do not, this time I acted recklessly. Letting myself be persuaded by my emotions and my selfish need to feel an ounce of freedom that I didn’t listen to my gut and brain when they told me this would be bad, not only for me but for my friend too.

“I’ve seen you smile more in this fifteen-minute ride than I’ve had in the last five years,” Gus whispers, drawing my attention away from my hands to his tattooed ones that rest on the car’s wheel. “Whatever punishment comes my way, it’ll be worth it.” His tone changed. It’s gentle, and all humor is gone.

Tenderness.

I know that one.

He’s being sincere.

I let his kind words wash over me because that’s something I’m not very used to.

Kindness.

So on the off chance it happens, I treasure it.

“I’ll protect you,” I say matter-of-factly. I will. I will protect my friend.

Gus laughs softly, and I feel his eyes on me, so I do my best to meet his gaze for only a second so he knows I mean business. “Appreciate it, sunshine.”

Sunshine.

I have a hard time figuring out when other people are genuine and have trouble deciphering insults from terms of endearment because nothing is black and white. Nothing is ever simple.

The mean men that worked for my father would call me names you would think are terms of endearment, but they would turn them ugly with sarcasm and their negative energy.

Turn them ugly with cruelty.

For example, some would call me princess, but with a smile that seemed forced, or they would roll their eyes at me whenever I opened my mouth.

I learned to stay quiet around certain people and people that I do not feel comfortable with.

That is mainly everyone, at first, until I can figure out if they’re the good or the bad guys.

I’ve known only bad guys until Gus.

Gus, I can trust.

He is kind, doesn’t treat me like a nuisance, and is patient with me when I do something that is normal for me but might seem strange to him.

Pressing my nose to the window, I hum the twinkle, twinkle little star song as I watch the city around me as Gus drives and silence falls upon us. I like the silence because some people tend to scream and be loud when they have nothing constructive to say.

Gus and my sister, Kadra, give me that.

A quiet and safe place, and now I’m breaking all the rules.

I am stepping out of the shadows to do something for myself, for once or rather for my sisters.

I couldn’t offer them peace when there was only war at home, but I can bring them back together. Because as long as my sisters are away from one another, they’ll never find true peace.

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