Page 42 of Bastian

“This big teddy bear is my Shaw! I call him Shaw-bear, and he’s my bestest friend after you and daddy, of course.” She looks at Shaw as if the man hangs the moon and all the stars for her. Oh, no. I know that look. “He stops the mean people from hurting me. He even broke a man’s nose for trying to take me once, didn’t you, Shaw-bear?”

Her security, that’s who this man is. I should’ve known by the way he was dressed and assessing the room for any threats, even when he was giving all his attention to my girl.

Shaw nods but remains stoically silent, staring me down, still clearly unsure if I am a threat or not, but I don’t back down or bow to anyone, not anymore, so I stare at him in the same manner while Ellaiza stands in the middle blabbering adorably, oblivious to it all.

As she should.

As I stare in awe at my girl, I feel a spark.

A light.

A flicker.

Life roars through me.

Fierce and ferocious.

We stand there while people go on about their evening, drinking and dancing, but then a clearing of someone’s throat makes us look at the man currently standing with a frown on his face and murder in his eyes.

“Shaw. Take Ellaiza home.”

“Yes, Mr. President.”

“No, Dad. I want to stay here with mommy.” The way she says it so desperately, as if she doesn’t want to be apart from me either, breaks my heart more than it already has but at the same time, it makes it whole again. I can’t even explain it.

It’s magical.

Just like her father used to do to me.

Stopping that painful train of thought that only leads to more anger and heartache, I put a smile on my face, one that doesn’t hurt, and reach forward, holding Ella’s hand tightly in mine. “I’m not going anywhere ever again. That’s a promise.”

Her mouth forms the cutest ‘O’ shape before she exclaims. “Wow, it’s the reals deals.” I can’t help it. I laugh.

“Yes, baby girl, promises are the real deal.”

Then, without warning, she extends her small body, the bottom half still being held by her bodyguard, and her arms wrap around me, pulling me closer. “I really love you so much, mommy. I am so happy you reached all the stars and found your way home. Gosh, dad was right. You are a superhero.”

Fuck.

Stay strong.

Kissing her forehead twice, I inhale her sweet scent, then back away, unclasping her tiny arms from my neck. Holding both her hands, I kiss them both and tell her. “I love you so much. I’ll see you soon. Okay?”

“Okay!” She blows me a kiss as Shaw, the giant ass, moves with her in arms towards her father. I watch as Sebastian kisses his daughter and whispers something in her ear while never breaking eye contact with me.

Tyrant.

Not even the years have changed the fact that he has always been and will most likely die a condescending, tyrannic bastard.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I swear like a damn sailor because this was not supposed to happen. I was ready to tear his world apart and fight for my girl now that I am no longer a defenseless twenty-one-year-old with nothing to her name.

But things have changed, haven’t they? I agonize about what this all means in my head, but I can’t come up with any logical answer. And the sad truth of it all is that I still look at him and feel anger, betrayal, and hurt. So much hurt, and I don’t see this torment ending until I make him regret ever treating me as if I was disposable.

Suddenly the room feels too damn hot, and I can’t breathe.

I can’t think straight.

He always does this.

---