Page 94 of Bastian

And the fact that he heard my conversation with Ellaiza and thought that’s what I wanted. That’s all I cared about. It hurts me more than he will ever know.

“After what happened… after the things I said and did sink in, I knew I fucked up and tried to find you. I looked everywhere. Had my men searching everywhere, but you disappeared. I had to live without you for three years, darling. That was my penance. I was too late.”

Christ, this is all too much.

This is messed up.

“I don’t know what to say or what to think.” Emotions clogged my throat, and I met Sebastian’s searching gaze. “I’m lost.”

“I’m not. Not anymore,” he said quietly. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.” He kisses my nose so sweetly that it makes a tear fall from my eyes. “Because you’re my person, and I don’t deserve you. Fuck, lord knows I don’t, but I want you anyway.” Sebastian looks gutted when I don’t say anything, but determination burns in his eyes. He sighs and continues. “I know some say that you need to be whole to fully love someone, but that’s utter bullshit to me. I am not whole unless you love me, Arianna Parisi. You complete me.” He shrugged in exasperation. “You. Are. Everything.”

“Sebastian—”

“Everything.”

“Just stop.” I try, but he doesn’t.

“And I don’t know when exactly it happened when you became a vital part of me,” He’s breathing hard like he’s been running. “No, fuck, I know exactly when it happened. It was the night Ellaiza got a fever, and I was so scared. Fuck, I was out of my mind, and then I walked into the room expecting the worst, and the most beautiful sight greeted me. You looked so young, so pure on the floor, holding onto my daughter as if she meant the entire world to you. You stole a piece of a heart I only saved for my daughter that night.” His words are undoing me. Word by word. “Then there were many times when you would stand up to me and give me all that sass unafraid. Then your smile. The first time you ever laughed at something I said, I felt it in my stomach. You gave me butterflies, darling. Me. A Bastard like me who never had butterflies in my life. But you gave me that, and even now, with so much hurt and hate in your eyes, you still have that effect on me and that will never change. What I feel down in my soul for you will never change.”

My tears spilled free before I could stop them.

Sebastian reached out to cup my face and brushed the salty drops with his thumbs. He bent to rest his forehead on mine. “One day, you’ll believe me,” he promised before pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead.

I don’t know if it’s the alcohol in my system or all that was said that is clouding my judgment, but the next thing I know, I am pulling Sebastian’s face down and claiming his lips as mine.

All my sadness and frustration became a fire inside of me that I didn’t know how to expel. Apparently, my body had decided exactly how it wanted to release all that pent-up anger and regrets. Part of me needed this. To feel anything but sorrow. Another part wanted to brand me on him, to ruin him as he ruined me.

So I kissed him. And he kissed me back.

Lips, tongue, hunger. Ferocious, biting kisses that stole our breaths. I pushed at his peacoat, shoving it down his arms without breaking our kiss, and then we fell to the sand. Hands pawed while lips and tongues searched for any naked spot they could find.

We lie there in the sand, trying to find our way back to who we once were.

Naked, so very naked.

A pile of bleeding hearts wrapped up in heartache, pain, and regrets.

ARIANNA

IT’S A GIRL

“I don’t want to be the cage that keeps you from being free.” — B

I didn’t use to be this way. No matter the circumstance no matter how difficult they were, I would have faced them head-on and never run away like a little coward but when it comes to Sebastian Kenton, lately, all I seem to do is run away. Run and agonize over every decision I have made since he’s been back in my life, and to make matters worse, he hasn’t contacted me since my last night in Greece. Since the day I so foolishly gave in and had sex with the man. On a beach! On a freaking beach with his men not far away.

Not only did I do the walk of shame in front of them, but I ran out of there with white sand between my ass cheeks.

Christ.

That is not who I am.

Not anymore.

After leaving Sebastian on the beach, I ran to my room, took a quick shower, and then found myself being driven to the airport. An hour later I was exiting the country and leaving Sebastian behind, but all throughout the flight all I could see were those eyes. His eyes.

Determined.

Bright.

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