Page 89 of Bastian

“And I love you, mommy.” She speaks.

“And I love you.”

“So much?”

“To the moon and back, Ella. To the moon and back.” I whisper to her, hoping she feels it. All the love I have for her.

When she says goodbye, I do the same and wait for her to hang up first, but she doesn’t. Instead, she says. “Oh, mom, I forgot to thank you!”

“For what, baby?”

“Daddy told me you made him smile a lot, and he’s so happy! Thank you!” Her face is so sweet, innocent, and trusting. All that’s good in the world. Oh, she has me wrapped around her small finger, and she knows it. Her dad knows it, too.

I made him smile.

Thud.

No.

No.

Don’t go there, heart. Nothing good can come of it.

“Anything for you, Ella.”

She beams, blows me a kiss, and hangs up.

With a bright smile on my face, I grab my things from the sand and move toward my next destination. I still have time before I have to meet with Wizz, and it would be a shame if I left this wonderful country without really experiencing most of what it has to offer. Grabbing the polaroid camera that I bought specifically to capture memories that I can then give to Ella, I snap a photo of the beach so later I can write a message for her on the back of the polaroid.

“What’s next?” I wonder aloud as I scroll on my phone for other sites that are near the hotel without me having to take a cab.

While I’m looking at what might be my next destination before the sun sets, a message pops up on my screen.

I really need to change his name when I get back to the States, just in case Ella gets a hold of my phone.

Asshole. Don’t Answer: I miss you.

Me: Just because I said I would forgive you, it doesn’t mean you can text me, Sebastian. Unless it is regarding Ellaiza, please refrain from contacting me.

Asshole. Don’t Answer: Ouch.

Asshole. Don’t Answer: Ellaiza misses you, too. Is that better?

Me: Not really. Goodbye. ??

I hold my breath when I see the dots appear on the screen, but then suddenly stop.

I was a bitch to him, I know, but maybe then he’ll understand that nothing will ever happen between us again. It can’t. I might still love him, and it bugs the hell out of me that not even the shit he did can kill that love, but I do not trust him.

Not with my heart.

I find myself experiencing local cuisine and winery for the rest of the day, but my heart is not in it. Guilt claws at my soul. Guilt and grief.

All because it’s becoming almost an impossible task to act like an uncaring bitch to the man that has made it his mission to not only get back into my good graces but my heart as well.

Out of the 8.05 billion humans in this world, why did I have to fall for him?

Why Sebastian Kenton?

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