Page 115 of Bastian

Why is he so quiet?

It feels like an eternity when the loud noise of gunfire disappears and Ares helps Sebastian off me, and when he does, the shooting pain in my arm intensifies so much that I vomit on myself. My eyes go down, and my head starts to whirl as I get a good look at my arm. It was odd. I’d never seen my arm contorted like that before, but as bad as that was to see, nothing will ever hurt as much as the sight of the man who owns my heart and soul on the ground with blood on his chest and neck. The stubble covering his cheeks looks too black against his paling skin.

Pushing through the unbearable pain, I push away the men trying to keep me from Sebastian. I claw and scream in agony with blood, his blood all over my gown and my arm in so much pain. Nothing compares to the pain I feel when I look at Sebastian lying there, looking up at the sky with a somber look on his handsome face. Nothing will ever hurt more than this moment right here.

“Sundance, down. The president was hit! Move, move, move, move!”

“Help! Get him in the car and drive to NYU Med.”

I tune everyone out, his guards, the media circus near us and the pain currently shooting up my arm. I crawl closer to Sebastian and fall next to him. With my good hand, I put pressure on his wound. He was hit in the chest.

Someone fucking shot him in the chest.

Rage and grief as I have never felt before consume me, and I wonder if this is how he felt when he watched his parents being gunned down for everyone to witness his pain. “Baby… baby, look at me. Stay with me. Do not close your eyes.” I am bawling my eyes out and the sight of his blood makes me want to throw my guts up more than the shooting pain in my arm.

Blood pools in his mouth when he tries to speak. Tears fall as I watch him try to form words, but the blood makes it impossible. “I–I” He croaks, but I stop him. He is losing so much blood.

“No, don’t say anything. You’ll be fine, okay?” My hand, the one that’s not broken, keeps holding pressure as his eyes turn sad with pain as if he knows what will happen next because he has lived it once before, but no. No, we are not our past. This is not how it will end.

A cry of pain slips my mouth when I see him lift his bloody hand and tap his chest twice, pointing weakly toward me. “I know. I know. My heart is yours, too. So hold on. Hold on!” I try to hold my fear back, to reassure him that all will be fine. Frantically, I look at the men around us who are spreading out with their guns raised while others are speaking into their wrists. “Help. Get him help!” I release a sigh of relief when I hear the distant sound of sirens. Turning to Sebastian, I offer him a smile. I smile while on the inside I’m slowly dying. “Help is coming. Don’t close your eyes, baby. Okay? Don’t close your eyes. Please…Hold on.” I whisper as tears fall rapidly from my eyes.

My chest aches when he tries to speak, but he can’t get the words out. “Tell E-ellai–” More blood spills from his mouth onto me. Staining my gold dress with red.

Please, God.

Please, don’t take him from me.

Not him.

I didn’t mean it.

Fuck, I did not mean for this to happen. All the times I wished him bad things, I didn’t mean it. “You tell her yourself, Sebastian. You are not leaving me! Do you hear me? I am not done fighting with you yet! I–I love you so goddamn much, tyrant. Please hold on.” I scream when I am being lifted from the ground, and paramedics and more of his guards are lifting him onto a gurney while they strap an oxygen mask to his face. All the while, he smiles at me softly, trying to reassure me. Even when he is on the brink of possibly dying, he keeps a reassuring smile for me.

My beautiful, sweet when he wants to be, tyrant…

It will all be okay. It has to be. He is the strongest man I know. The most powerful. He can move mountains. I truly believe that. He will be okay. I tell myself that, trying to convince my bleeding heart, but then I watch from afar as the smile falls from his face. Sebastian closes his eyes and it feels as if I, too, was shot in the chest.

Fighting the agonizing pain I scream at the top of my lungs when I am being held back and watch the paramedic lift him into the ambulance. “Don’t leave me!” Trying to get free from the arms keeping me from the man I love. I scream until my throat hurts. “Please don’t leave me again!”

Please, don’t leave me.

I didn’t mean it.

War.

Hurting you.

Hating you.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

Don’t leave me.

But then the pain takes over, and the world goes black.

LOVE & US

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