Page 45 of Our Own Light

“Oh, my stars, Josephine,” Effie said, tears welling up in her eyes in an instant. Josephine barreled into Effie’s waiting arms. “Where were you?”

“I’m so sorry, Mama. I tried to find the circus.”

Floyd’s eyes found Ollie waiting in the doorway with a remorseful-looking half-smile.

“I believe this was my fault,” Ollie said. “I shouldn’t have blathered on about the circus like that. It was inconsiderate of me.”

Effie looked back and forth between Josephine and Ollie.

“What do you mean you tried to find the circus?” she asked Josephine.

Ollie took a tentative step into the house. “Josephine told me that she took a train to Charleston. That’s where I found her, incidentally. Near the train station.”

“Josephine May,” Effie sighed, her face reddening. Floyd could tell she was trying hard not to lose her temper in front of Ollie. “We were so worried.”

Floyd knelt down and placed a hand on Josephine’s back.

“Jo, you can’t run off like that. You nearly put your mother in an early grave.” He said this in a harsh tone, the harshest he could muster, hoping it might knock some sense into her, even though he knew she probably felt as sorry as she looked with her puffy pink eyes and trembling bottom lip. “I spent over two hours searching the woods for you. Wasted a whole lot of kerosene.”

Which was a cold thing to say. But Floyd couldn’t seem to tell her how worried he had been when she hadn’t come home, how the sweat soaking his shirt was from the fear he had been feeling, rather than from how physically tired he was. He couldn’t find the words to tell her how terrifying it had been when the sun had set and the woods had become black and every little sound suddenly seemed to have come from a monster, one that had taken his little girl.

It was easier to talk about the kerosene.

“I’m sorry, Daddy,” Josephine said, choking back a sob. “I’m real, real sorry.”

“I know,” he said, holding back the comfort he wanted to give.

He needed her to learn her lesson. Even if her sadness made him sad, too.

Floyd looked over his shoulder to thank Ollie but saw that he had already left. He’d have to find Ollie later. It was a right miracle that his friend had found Jo in Charleston. Floyd suddenly remembered that he still needed to tell everyone else that the search was over, and so, he promised Effie that he’d leave in a bit and spread the word so that no one would continue looking through the night. Before leaving though, Floyd spent a little more time with both of his girls, making sure they were good, reassuring himself that they were good, and then refilled his lamp with kerosene.

Once Floyd had made good on his promise to call off the search, he started toward Ollie’s house. As he walked, the chaos of the day’s events continued to hum beneath his skin, making him anxious. First, Ollie had vanished from the pig roast and then Josephine had missed supper. Floyd had gone from worrying about his friend to plum near losing his mind over his missing baby girl. All in the span of a few hours. He still couldn’t understand how Ollie had been the one to find her. Why had he been in Charleston? Why hadn’t he talked to Floyd before leaving Frank and Martha’s house?

When Ollie had acted so funny right after the two of them had kind of held hands in a really strange way, Floyd had convinced himself that their friendship was over. But then Ollie had shown up at church and, well, Floyd had been so happy about that. He hadn’t even minded Ollie’s humor about religion. Or the fact that somehow, the man hadn’t known what a hymn was. All that had mattered was that they were spending time together.

But then, Ollie had left Frank and Mary’s so suddenly...

Was Ollie still feeling strange about them holding hands? Floyd wondered if maybe telling Ollie the truth about his marriage would help. But, well, probably not. Ollie was probably thinking that two men being together was wrong, and with how that sort of thing was seen by plum near everyone else in the world, Floyd supposed he couldn’t really fault him if he really was feeling bad.

When Floyd arrived at Ollie’s house, Ollie was already outside. He was sitting on his porch, not on a chair, but on the floor of the porch itself with his back resting against the house, probably because he hadn’t bought any kind of chair for it yet.

“Hey, Ollie.”

Oliver skipped right over the salutation and said, “God, Floyd, I can’t imagine what that was like for you today.”

“Yeah, well, she wouldn’t be home if not for you,” Floyd said, walking up the porch stairs. He sat beside Ollie without even confirming that he wanted the company. He figured they were beyond simple pleasantries like that now. He hoped so, anyway. “Thank you for bringing her back.”

“Of course,” Ollie said. “I’m surprised, you know, that she knew to take the train. I mean, I think I only mentioned it once.”

Floyd nodded. “Jo’s a smart one. But, well, I figure she kind of knew about the trains to Charleston before. Some other families here take one on occasion to shop in the city. We’re lucky in that way. Plenty of trains because of the coal.”

“It’s a miracle that I spotted her.”

“I know. Poor Jo. She seemed to think the circus would be there waiting for her.”

“Like once the train stopped in Charleston, she’d see the circus from the station?”

“More like she thought Charleston was the circus.” Floyd shook his head. Josephine’s mind sure was interesting. “We ain’t never been there before. As a family.”

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