Page 41 of Again, In Autumn

Maggie laughs. “Well, Adam and I didn’t grow up with family meals like this. Our dad was so scattered with multiple marriages and stepkids and half kids and whatnot, that we rarely, if ever, had a home-cooked meal.”

Adam spoons spaghetti on his plate. “What’s a half kid, Maggie?”

She bares her teeth in a grimace. “The ones I remember the names of but won’t ever know their ages.”

The bowl of pasta is passed toward me, and Diego asks, “So Vienna, I hear you’re a kindergarten teacher. How’s that? Did you always want to be a teacher?”

“Um, it’s fine,” I respond, passing the bowl. “It’s a steady job. And no, I didn’t always want to be a teacher, it just kind of fell in my lap.”

Maggie asks, “Did you major in education?”

“Early Childhood, yeah,” I answer.

Adam makes a sound. My eyes aren’t the only ones that land on his.

He glances around. “Well…that’s not exactly ‘falling into your lap’ then, is it? You chose to study education to become a teacher. That was a choice.”

My head begins to throb. “That’s not what I meant,” I say.

It’s quiet at the table. Awkward quiet.

David begins with a light laugh, “At least Vee is using her degree. Fran and I haven’t done a thing with our Art History and Anthropology degrees.”

“Someone would have,” Francesca starts, “if he had continued to become Indiana Jones like we had agreed upon.”

He shrugs, “I couldn’t handle the anxiety of constantly losing my hat.”

Diego laughs, “And the snakes?”

“No.” Francesca shakes her head. “He likes snakes.”

“I would love a pet snake,” David says with a high finger.

This must be a family discussion that’s been had one too many times.

I chase down a bite of pasta with a sip of wine, glad for the change in conversation, but it doesn’t last long. Another biting comment flies across the table at me.

Adam grunts, “So you’re both doing things that you enjoy.”

So maybe the statement wasn’t directed at me, but it was flung at me, sharp and shiny, intended to distract.

Francesca tears up a few pieces of Alice’s bread. I watch the needlessness of it.

She says, “Yeah, I think so. Working in the corporate world has been good for both of us. Not what we planned, but we’re pretty happy.”

Adam looks across the table at me. On purpose. He continues, “I don’t know why people choose to spend their lives somewhere they don’t want to be.”

I hold his gaze. The throbbing in my head begins again. I say, “Because we don’t always get to blindly follow our dreams. Some of us have to make practical decisions and take big girl jobs.”

His lips purse together. “I don’t believe that. No one has to do anything.”

“The world doesn’t always tip in my favor.”

“That’s bullshit.” He grits his teeth and says to the kids, “Sorry.”

Grayson shrugs. “There’s no swear jar on vacation.”

“It’s lawless,” Francesca adds with her mouth full.

---