Page 42 of Again, In Autumn

The otherwise sharp tension at the table doesn’t dissipate.

Adams keeps going: “There are crystals and trinkets and…tchotchkes all over this house. Heddy was all about manifesting your desires and being the main character of your life. If I remember correctly, you used to be into all that sh – crap – too.” He looks at Grayson for confirmation.

The kid teeters his right hand back and forth. Crap is one of those words.

“I indulged Heddy’s wisdom,” I clarify.

Adam pushes food to the side of his mouth, and checks in with the others, like Can you believe this chick? His eyebrows raise. “What does that mean?”

I also glance around the table.

Francesca and David know that Adam and I barely spoke to each other, so he has no reason to talk to me now, let alone care about my life path. I’m wondering why the others aren’t intervening, demanding he put down his weapons and back away from their precious Auntie Vee. By their mild expressions, I realize that only I hear – no, feel – the disdain in Adam’s voice. They don’t notice the stormy clouds rolling in. They can just tell that the sun has disappeared.

I try to keep myself composed. I tell Adam, “I’m a practical breed, unlike Heddy, but she raised me, and I respect her wisdom.”

His fork hits his plate. Loudly.

“There’s that word again.” He grumbles, “I didn’t find Heddy so wise.”

It’s quiet at the table while I think about what he said.

The unspoken part: I didn’t think Heddy was so wise when she ordered you not to run off and marry me.

Before I can respond, if I can think of a response, Kate drops her utensils and rests her dainty chin atop her hands. She watches him dreamily.

She asks, “Adam, what’s it like being a professional musician? It must be amazing.”

He swallows, and we lock eyes for a moment. Whatever he was trying to pry out of me, he’ll never get. Reluctantly, he answers, “Uh, it’s good. Loud. Tiring. Overwhelming. But, it’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do with my life.”

“I love that,” she says, breathy and charming. “I love people who follow their dreams.”

Maggie says, “One track mind, this one.”

“We always knew you were going to make it big one day,” David adds.

“He wrote the most beautiful songs that summer,” Francesca chimes in. She points to her husband. “If this one didn’t follow me around all the time, I’d think Adam wrote all of those songs about me.”

David snorts. “If he wrote them about any of us, it would be me, okay? He couldn’t stop staring into my eyes.”

“Dave, don’t let them in on our secret,” Adam deadpans. “Don’t make light of what we had.”

Francesca laughs, “At least we know they weren’t about Vienna! She called you a vampire earlier!”

“Fran,” I hiss.

She hiccups and looks at her glass. “I’m sorry. What is in this?”

“Called me what?” Adam asks.

I rip open a roll and trace my plate design with my eyes. “Nothing. She misheard me.”

Francesca sighs. “The point is that Dave and I were about to enter our last year of college and had no idea what we were going to do with our lives, but here was Adam, dead set on his goals. It was inspiring.”

I twirl my fork into noodles. “It’s easy to do whatever you want when no one expects anything from you.”

He retorts, “If you don’t let people tell you what to do, then you’re free to make your own choices. Whatever pressure another person puts on you is your own fault.”

I gaze across the table and it’s like everyone else has disappeared and we’re sitting here, he and I, listening to my father tell me everything I’m supposed to do with my adult life. Adam remembers that, at least, and he’s not over my betrayal.

---