Page 109 of Something Forever

I love you.

The words are still lodged in my throat. I’d been waiting for days for this moment. To finally tell Liam how I feel. To hear him say the same. To know, once and for all, that our marriage was real. That somehow, in this crazy mess, we’d found each other.

Instead, I just stood there. Silent. Frozen.

I said nothing.

Did nothing.

I tried to push away the memories that threatened to break through again, those images swirling through my head the second Liam’s words registered in brain. My mom, three whiskeys deep, sobs wracking through her chest as she cried over another guy who walked out on her. Walked out on us.

“Never trust a man,” she’d said. “They bring nothing but heartache.”

Moisture pricks at the corners of my eyes. My hands shaking, I reach for my phone. I should call Liam, beg him to come back and try to explain. Get him to understand the fear clawing its way up my throat, the cruel voice in my head telling me I wasn’t enough. That he wouldn’t stay no matter what he said. No matter what he promised.

I wrap my arms around myself, trying to ease the tremors rocking through my body.

Am I in shock? Is that what’s happening right now?

Flexing my fingers, I try to focus on the sensations in the room, what I can feel, hear, smell, and touch; the pads of my fingertips pressing against my arms, my knees digging into my chin, the soft crackling of the candle. Once I feel the shaking subside, I take a deep breath and reach for my phone, dialing Abbi’s number instinctively. As soon as I hear her voice, the tears that have been threatening to break through since Liam left finally come.

“Whit? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I shake my head, willing my chest to stop shaking with sobs. “Liam told me he loves me,” I manage through my tears.

“Babe,” Abbi replies. “That’s amazing! Why are you crying? Happy tears?”

“No,” I gasp. “I-I didn’t say it back. I just stood there, and then he left.”

“Like, he left? Or he left?”

Another sob rocks through me. “I don’t know. He said he would see me later.”

“Okay, then he’s coming back. When he gets back, talk to him.”

“I feel so bad.” My voice drops to a whisper. “I couldn’t stop thinking about all my issues. About my mom. I just felt completely out of control.”

“That’s okay,” Abbi says, her voice strong and reassuring. “It’s okay that you didn’t say it right away. It doesn’t mean you don’t love him. It just means you need time.”

I nod, my shoulders no longer shaking. Sniffling, I wipe at my face and take in a few steadying breaths. Abbi is right; I know she is. All I have to do is wait for Liam to come back, and we can talk.

“You’re right,” I say to Abbi. My phone buzzes and I glance down. “Hey, I have to go. I’m getting another call.”

“You sure you’re okay? Want to call me back?”

I sniffle again. “I’m okay. Thanks for being there.”

“Always,” she says.

I hang up and switch to my incoming call. “Hello?”

“Hey, peanut.”

Just what I needed in this moment. Caroline to drop back in and check on me. She must have some sixth sense, knowing that I was thinking of her. Thinking of the trust issues she drilled into my brain.

“Hi,” I reply numbly.

“I’m in the city. I’m staying with a friend, so don’t worry about me crashing again.”

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