Page 83 of Ruby & Onyx

He perks up at the mention of his name, surveying the room to see if I have anything enticing enough to rouse him from sleep. When he sees that I’m waking him empty-handed, he plops his head back down.

“Come on, Moose. It’s time for us to go.” I scoop him up off of the bed and place him on the floor beside me. He looks up at me with those big, brown eyes, and, for a second, I think that he might understand. He sits on his hind legs and seems to wait for further instruction.

“Good boy, Moose.”

As I grab my things, I pause to look out the great big windows of my bedroom. The bedroom, I correct myself. It’s not my bedroom anymore, and I need to let it go. I try to paint the image of the sea in my head to preserve it in my memories. The turquoise water with patches of navy and glittering flecks of alabaster dancing on top. The seagulls squawking as they glide through the air. The briny smell that wafts in the wind. May this landscape become imprinted on my heart.

Maybe I should just follow the sea for as long as possible. I can keep walking until I find a good place to settle on the coast.

“Would you like to live in a cottage on the sea, Moose?” He nuzzles his nose against me, which I take as a yes. “Great, sounds like a plan. Now, come on.”

He follows me out the door without looking back. Together, we walk down the sea-side hallway toward Olly’s room on the opposite end of the palace. The same hallway that seemed so big when I first arrived. Only, it doesn’t scare me anymore. It’s just a building made of stone, no matter how many decorations you add.

The closer we get, the faster my heart starts to beat. I shake out my hands to release some of the tension, what little good it does.

Breath, Radya. You can do this.

When I finally reach his room, the door is slightly ajar. I hear Olly’s laugh coming from the inside. It’s not a laugh of good humor. It is sultry and lush. And when he gasps, I can tell that his breathing is heavy.

Am I interrupting something?

It doesn’t matter.

Whatever is happening on the other side of this door is none of my business. I’m going to leave this palace and never turn back, so why should I care who Olly spends his time with? He is in the privacy of his room. And, even if I had accepted the marriage, the queen mentioned that I might find pleasure on my own, as well.

‘It is not a love match,’ she said.

My heart pangs nonetheless.

I want to see who it is. Don’t I deserve to know who else he spent time with while our engagement was still pending?

I’m going to regret this.

I peek my head through the crack of the door and get a glimpse of Olly’s muscular back writhing and flexing. His knees are spread on either side of someone underneath, but all I can see is their feet sticking out beneath the blanket. He bends his chest down toward whoever lies beneath.

I have no right to feel this stinging jealousy. I’m abandoning him, not the other way around. And yet, I am frozen by the ice-cold envy seeping into every muscle. On so many occasions, I wanted him to kiss me. To show me the attention that he’s so freely giving to someone else. How long has this been going on? Was he pushing me away because his heart already belonged to somebody else?

As I try to regain the use of my limbs, my satchel falls out of place on my hip and slams against the wall. Olly’s head snaps back to look over his shoulder, still leaning over his lover’s body. Our eyes meet, and all of the blood rushes to my head. Oh, gods.

He straightens, leaving his gaze planted on me. His jaw is clenched so tight that his teeth might shatter from the tension. His furrowed brow reveals a puzzling flurry of emotions, ranging from anger to fear, or something in between. The person below him shifts into view, and I think that I might faint.

The person looking back at me isn’t some foolish girl hoping to score the prince’s heart.

It’s Landers.

“Are you kidding me?” Those are the only words that I’m capable of articulating, it seems.

“Radya, wait.” Olly flies off of the bed, rushing to throw a shirt on before approaching me. “Just listen to me for a minute.”

“Landers? Really? What could you possibly say to change the fact that you lied to me? You made me shake his godsdamned hand and drink his mead while parading me around in front of him. No wonder he hated me! I am so stupid!” The fact that Olly had lovers was somewhat palatable, but knowing that it was Landers feels like a knife to the chest. That’s not a fling on the side. They are attached at the hip! I can just hear them making jokes about how weak and easily manipulated I am. How did I not suspect it? He hated me from the moment we met. “Did you ever have any interest in me at all, or was I just part of some manipulative power game to bend me to your parents’ will?”

He kissed me. He kissed me and then pulled away, teasing me every chance he got. He made me want him, whether I was willing to admit it or not. Oh gods, my head is spinning.

“You silly, silly girl.” Landers swaggers out of bed, flashing a smug grin. He looks so eager to release the words he’s been dying to say – to tell me that Olly was always his. Though, hadn’t he told so much already?

‘Only his special friends call him Olly,’ he’d said.

“How could I be so blind?” Tears fill the backs of my eyes.

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