Page 80 of Lost in the Current of You

It reminded me of this game I would play as a kid at night with my friends and Nate called ‘spotlight’. We would all run around in the dark trying to find a good hiding spot — like hide-and-seek — and the seeker would try to find us with a flashlight and if it was pointed at you, you were caught.

This time, it was Liam and Nate holding the flashlight, and I was waiting for them to catch us in the spotlight.

It was tiring, but I couldn’t help but fall into Reece each time I was around him. Everything fell into place as soon as my eyes locked on his.

It was like Reece had come at the exact time I needed him. When I felt like I was a discarded piece of clothing in the back of the closet, begging for someone to see me for me. When I felt like I could never truly be loved, or love anyone myself. When I felt so lost in the world, trying everything to find my footing. When I felt so weighed down by expectations to be someone I wasn’t.

He came walking in, and suddenly, I wasn’t alone. He entered the darkness with me with his hand holding mine, and it didn’t feel so dark anymore. Stitch by stitch, we tried to patch each other’s wounds with stars in our eyes.

But we continued to avoid what we were dancing around. It never occurred to us as we snuck glances across rooms, kisses in the shadows, and days spent together in secret.

I wondered if he was in this as much as I was. Was he embarrassed to show me off, or was he just a coward roaming in wolf’s skin? If we weren’t sneaking around, would this be something he wanted? Or was it just the forbidden aspect turning him on?

I didn’t know what to call us, and my heart was screaming to confront him about it. But, I guess I was just as much of a hypocrite calling him a coward when I was scared of ruining what we had right now. I clung to the now just as much as he did, however long we had, and I didn’t have any intention of stopping.

There had to be a time limit to this thing. Secrets like these are not meant to be kept secret for very long and it’s almost like I can hear the clock ticking in the back of my mind, waiting for the perfect moment to strike.

My skin itched with the need to get out and get my mind off this. The mid-January heat brought higher humidity, making the streets seem like a ghost town. People either huddling in the safety of their air conditioned homes, or taking a trip to the beach for the day to cool off. But I would take anywhere rather than being by myself with my thoughts at the moment.

I tried both Alex and Avery to see what they were doing, but they both messaged back with apologies, in the thick of their first-day preparation for university.

I flopped back onto my bed, fingers tapping on the back of my phone as I thought of what to do, forcing my fingers not to message the one person I wanted to talk to. Because I know he would quiet my mind with just his presence, but it wouldn’t put them to rest. It would probably make it worse. Maybe I was a masochist because that sounded as nice as I could get at the moment.

A knock sounded from the front door, and I frowned, checking the time and trying to figure out who would be visiting at this hour when Dad was working, and I was home alone.

I trudged down the stairs, fixing the tendrils of hair that escaped my bun behind my ear so I appeared at least half presentable. The tank top and shorts I wore were the only practical thing I could wear in this heat.

I opened the door and it was like the universe was somehow working with and against me at the same time, offering the one person I both want and shouldn’t have right at my doorstep.

Reece offered me a small smile, one hand tucked behind his back and the other hand resting on the door frame as he leaned his weight against it. One foot casually crossed behind the other and it almost fooled me into thinking he was as relaxed as he seemed to look. But looking into his eyes, I could see the nervous way they roamed over every inch of my face.

“Hi,” he greeted, his soft voice breaking through the mental torment I’ve wrapped myself in this morning, and I had to hold myself back from releasing a sigh.

“Hi,” I replied.

His lip twitched before he stood straight and held a finger up. “I have something for you. Think of it as an apology and a question, I guess?”

“What’s the question?”

“This first.” He started and then he pulled his arm from behind his back and held a small bouquet of lilies in front of him. “This is for you. I was researching to find what the best gift to give a girl was and most of the responses said flowers. I wanted to do something nice because, well to put it simply, I just keep fucking up, and somehow, you keep forgiving me.”

A blush tinted my cheeks as my eyes lined with tears, but I sniffed them away as I grabbed them from him, breathing in the scent. “Thank you, Reece.”

His lips tilted as he puffed out a small breath of air, almost like relief.

He cleared his throat. “As for the question, I was wondering if you wanted to, maybe, go get ice cream? With me. On a date?” He swallowed. “I know we haven’t really been on one officially, and we already know a lot about each other, but I would really like to take you if you’ll let me.”

My lips spread into an uncontrollable grin, and I couldn’t help the giggle from escaping me watching him nervously piece together his words.

“I would love to. You came at the perfect time.”

His grin matched my own then as he nodded. “Good. I’m glad.”

I opened the door wider, gesturing for him to come in. “You want to wait in here? I’ll just grab something to put this in and go change.”

“Yeah, okay.”

He followed behind as I made my way to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboards, only finding a tall glass that could hold the flowers. I filled it with water and placed it on the bench before turning to Reece.

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