Page 95 of Lost in the Current of You

“I thought you liked it here. Does this have anything to do with the past two weeks?” He questioned carefully, eyes pleading with me to let him in, but I didn’t want to burden him with my teenage problems and my broken heart. And to be honest, I was too embarrassed to have fallen in love with someone who didn’t love me back.

“I do like it here, Dad,” I lied. At least, I did before Reece happened. “But this is an amazing program that could lead to so many opportunities after. I could travel, you could see my art in galleries, you could see my photos in magazines one day. Who knows where it could lead.”

He watched me for a moment, his eyes tracing over my features that I know looked forced but did have a tiny bit of true excitement in it.

Then he smiled, and hope bloomed within me.

“If this is what makes you happy, then I’ll support it. I mean, it would be a bit hypocritical of me to say no when Nate moved up North for Uni,” he chuckled. “But you’re my baby girl, and you don’t know anyone there. It’s a big city, Dakota. You sure you want to do this?”

I wrapped my arms around him. “I’m a hundred percent sure,” I said before letting go of him and sitting back. “Plus, I’ll meet new people, and I’ll stay in hotels until I find somewhere to live.”

And that was when something clicked in my head and a memory came back to me from the week in Airlie Beach.

Daniel.

I still had his number sitting untouched in my contacts on my phone. I hadn’t even thought about him since that night. Didn’t see him past that night either.

But I remember his offer to show me around Melbourne. It was probably a crazy idea to get in contact with him when he probably didn’t even remember me, but I could use a familiar face in a new city.

Dad’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. “I could ask one of my buddies if their daughter still lives there. Maybe I could connect you, and you wouldn’t have to pay so much for hotel rooms?”

My eyes lit up. “Yes, please. That would be amazing.”

Dad ruffled my hair before I smacked his hand away. “Okay, I’ll let you know what happens.”

Another week and a half passed, and all my belongings were packed into various suitcases, ready for my flight out at midday. My stomach swirled with nerves, and tears had been lining my eyes since I finished packing and took a step back to look at my room.

It felt like I was running. Running from everything that scared me. Running from everything that haunted me. I hated myself for it. But it was my only option to escape these memories. I didn’t want to be drowning in them anymore.

Dad got in contact with his friend, and his daughter was happy to help me, letting me take her spare room until I found somewhere for myself. He sent me her number, and we’d been chatting all week, getting to know each other. She would be picking me up from the airport when I landed late afternoon. It was relieving not to have that intense pressure on my shoulders, but I didn't want to be in her hair for any longer than I had to be.

My first class would start the week after my move and it all felt like it was moving so fast. In a split-second decision, my life felt like it was travelling faster than I could even keep up with. In a matter of weeks I’d gone from being content, to having my heart broken and moping about, to packing up my life and moving to a different state. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

My childhood room looked as if it had been stripped bare, only the essentials standing tall. My bed, desk, bookshelf, and wardrobe sat in their original position, but all my books, clothes, laptop, and other accessories had been packed to the brim into the four suitcases downstairs. It was like letting go of part of myself, burying a part of my heart between the floorboards of the room with whispers of my memories dancing around like ghosts.

I shut the door behind me, breaking the connection and forcing myself to take a breath.

Time seemed to move slowly then during the drive to the airport and it seemed like deja vu. Both times that I had been driven to the airport that summer had been pivotal moments in my life. Three months ago had been the start of me discovering myself. The drive now, as we approached the middle of February, was the end and start of an era. My first experience of love and my first heartbreak. Me finally moving out of home and living on my own. Me finally knowing and working towards my goals and dreams.

Half an hour later, Dad pulled up at the airport and I sat there for a moment, my body not willing to get out of the car just yet. Like I was waiting for something that I knew wouldn’t come. To see the one person that could stop me from leaving, running towards me and begging me to stay with apologies spilling from his lips.

Dad reached over the console and squeezed my forearm, snapping me from my thoughts and making me look over at him. His smile was comforting but also tinged with a little sadness. “You okay?”

I nodded as I inhaled a deep breath. “Yeah. It’s just nerves. This is a big move.”

He sighed. “Yeah, it is. And I’m going to miss you so much. You better come visit often, or I’ll be chasing you to Melbourne.”

I laughed. “I promise to stay in contact with you. At least a message a week.” I avoided the mention of visiting because I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to bravely face home again.

He hummed. “Once a day?”

My lips twitched as I held in another laugh. He was negotiating. “Twice a week.”

He rolled his eyes, but a smile broke free. “Fine. I’ll live with that.” His expression slowly fell to a more somber one as he nodded to the back where my bags were loaded. I swore I saw his eyes start to water, but he looked away before I could tell. “Come on. Let’s unload your things.”

He was out of the car the next moment and I felt bad for leaving him on such short notice. I was his youngest, and now he had the house to himself for the first time in a long time. I couldn’t tell if he was happy or sad about that prospect.

I wiped my sweaty palms against my thigh-length jeans, feeling my heart pound against my chest now that I was finally here. I felt wholly unprepared and wanted to claw back to my life before this. But this is what I wanted. This is how it has to be for both my healing and to chase my dreams.

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