Page 96 of Playing My Rivals

“Enough, Jami. If you are going to deflect the seriousness of this, I’m done talking about it.”

His chin juts my way. “Then just say what you want.”

I soften my approach. “I’m not sure how this is going to work, but if you give me time?—”

“Time for what? To figure out who you care about more? I already know, so let’s not waste any more time.”

He pushes his chair out away from the table. “If you don’t have the answers you’re looking for by now, what makes you think you will with more time? Things will only get more fucked up for all of us.”

“I can’t just walk away from him. He deserves more than a mere brush-off.”

“But you can just walk away from me and brush me off? That’s just great, Dori. I get to stand here alone and Hunter gets you. You’ve never picked me. I don’t know why I thought you would this time.”

Jami rises to his feet, red-faced and hands balled. “Let me go once and for all. Quit pulling me back to you just so you can push me away when the next guy shows up.”

I stand, trying to get him to listen to me. “That’s not what I’m doing. I?—”

“You cheated me. I told you I wouldn’t do this if you had feelings for someone else. You pushed last night and made me believe I was the only one in your thoughts.” He fakes a laugh and shakes his head. “I should’ve been smarter and known that wasn’t the case for your heart. My bad.”

Tears stream from my eyes, and I bat them away. This talk is not going the way I planned.

“I didn’t cheat you. You were the only one I was thinking about last night. You were the only one who had my heart last night.”

“Now who’s mocking?” He moves to leave but stops without turning back. “You’ve tested me so many times over the years. We would get close and you would meet some other guy. You made sure to talk to me about it, disguising it with questions about how I felt about you. In reality, you liked rubbing it in my face.”

“That’s not true. You have to trust me on this.” I reach up and touch his shoulder.

He jerks away like I burned him. “I realized this today. You enjoy watching me struggle as you walk away. You like knowing you can string me along. I’m forever your backup plan. You give just enough to keep me interested so you can use me at your disposal.”

“It’s…not like…that, Jami.” My words bounce through shaky breaths.

“Oh, but it is.” He turns and pins his eyes to mine. “One more thing you should know. I don’t owe you anything, least of all my trust.”

“Why do you keep saying trust that way?”

“I know the truth. I heard every fucking word of it. You don’t have to pretend anymore. You won. You conquered me. I gave myself to you and it’s not enough. You stole something from me I can never get back and for that, I’ll never trust you again.” He stalks away, ready to leave.

“What are you talking about?” I’m terrified I already know the answer.

His hand grips the door handle. “Your conversation with Hunter in the car today. I overheard everything. I know you lied about being with me last night. I heard you tell him you love him. And here I was, willing to work through every fucking obstacle no matter the consequences, just so I could be with you. I’m a fucking fool.”

Shit.

He heard everything and it’s out of context.

My eyelids fall shut. “I can explain.”

“I gave you a chance by sitting down and talking with you. You didn’t take it. You never would’ve told me.” He pulls the door open. “Do us both a favor and forget last night happened. I wish it never did. I’d do anything to erase it. Take it out of my mind and?—”

“Stop it!” I rush to the door and slam my body against it so it shuts. “Why would you say that?”

He steps back, his chest heaving. “Because it’s killing me to know you have that part of me. It’s not fair, Dori. You used me. Maybe you needed to see that I would succumb to you. I don’t know what the reason is, but you got what you wanted.”

“You wanted it too.” I remain splayed over the door.

“Not on these terms, I didn’t. You knew that going in, so don’t act all surprised and hurt that I’m calling you out on it.” He runs his hand over his chin. “Why are you doing this?”

My ribcage tightens. “I don’t want to lose you.”

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