Page 95 of Playing My Rivals

“Jami—”

“Leave it alone, Dori. Trust me on this.” The way he says trust is like it’s acid on his tongue.

He stares at me hard, square in the eyes. I have so many things I want to say. Things I should say, but nothing comes out of my mouth. His icy blue eyes bear down on me until I have to look away.

With one phone call, my entire world flipped and sent me on a different path—a path where I annihilated the sinful, deliciously bad, beautiful love that Jamison and I share.

Even though we never exchanged those words, I know it’s love. The way he cared for me last night spoke volumes and that’s what rips my heart into two completely severed halves—one half of that heart with Jamison and the other with Hunter.

I enter Aiden’s house after visiting him at the hospital, not knowing where Jamison is. He refused to come into the hospital with me.

I’m placing my purse on the table when he appears from the back bedroom. It shouldn’t surprise me he’s carrying his bags, but it does. I prepare myself for one of the biggest heartbreaks I’ll ever endure. Whatever he’s thinking, it’s clear he doesn’t trust me with his heart.

My eyes already swim with tears. “You don’t have to leave.”

“Yes, I do. I can’t stay in a house where you’re a room away. Frankly, I’m surprised you’d want me to.” He turns toward the front door.

He’s already plotting his escape, and I don’t blame him this time. I’m not even going to stop him.

“You’re always welcome here, but if you want to leave, I can’t stop you.” I wrap my arms around my waist. “Aiden’s awake now. He’s not all there, but he’s able to speak. My parents left when I did. You won’t run into them if you go now.”

“Yeah, I’m headed there after I leave here. I can relax a little knowing I won’t see your parents. Thanks for the good news.” Jami treks to the door.

I hate that I’m hurting him like this. I hate that I can’t just jump right into a relationship with him without a clean break from Hunter. I hate it won’t come out right no matter what I say.

“Jami, can I have a minute of your time before you go?” I go into the kitchen and pull a chair away from the table. Maybe he’ll let me explain now that we have more time.

He places his bags down and faces me. “If you have something to say, I’ll listen. I can’t promise anything in return. As long as you’re good with that, I’ll give you… I’ll listen.”

Oh, he’s done giving me anything.

“Listening is fine.” I pull out another chair and sit as I try to figure out where I went wrong.

He hesitates for a few beats and then joins me at the table. “Just to set the right expectations, I only have a short time before I have to leave.”

Walls up. Got it.

“I want to explain so you can understand where I’m coming from.” My hands rest on the table, weaved together. How I wish one of my hands were his.

“Dori, I don’t need an explanation. I knew in the pool I had to stop, but I played with fire. And as the saying goes…” He shrugs and glances at the door.

“I still have feelings for Hunter, but that doesn’t take away the fact I have feelings for you, too.”

Jamison needs to know everything before he shuts me out for good. I’m losing him, but I’m not going to let him just slip through my fingers. I’m going to lay it out for him and tell him what I can’t seem to get out. Then he can decide.

He shifts in his chair and rubs his hand over his freshly trimmed beard. He turns toward the door and then back to me and squares himself as his chest balloons.

His eyes fill with torture and resolve. “Look, I’ve never been first in your heart and that will have to do. But you need to know you’ve always been first in mine. Even when I let other people run the show, you were still the one I dreamed of.

“If I’m being honest, I’ll still dream of you. That said, sharing you won’t pacify me. I want all of you. I told you I did the last time you came to me looking for answers about how you should feel about another man.”

“Jami, you were ready to go forward with me until I told you Hunter loved me. You knew he’d pull out all the stops, and you still told me to figure out my feelings. I did that, so you can’t sit here and blame me for doing exactly what you asked me to do.”

“I should’ve known then you were a quick study.”

“Don’t mock what happened between us.” My voice rumbles as I fold my arms over my chest.

“I wasn’t mocking. I was making an observation.”

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