Page 51 of Pity Parade

I open the refrigerator and pull out a bottle of white wine. I pour myself a glass while answering, “It was Paige’s idea. I asked her to help me so my producer would give up on the idea of doing a show about me.”

“It’s pretty clever,” Heath says. “I mean, think of how much fun it would be to tell your kids about it someday, a matchmaker making her own match.”

“Yeah, I’m sure they’d appreciate knowing how embarrassing their mother is.”

“I think enterprising is a better word,” he says kindly.

I don’t comment right away. Instead, I try to formulate the question I really want to ask. When I realize there’s no subtle way, I jump right in. “Don’t you want to have kids?”

Heath clears his throat before telling me what I already know. “My wife was pregnant with my son when she died. If being married again makes me feel so vulnerable, you can imagine how I’d feel having a child. I’d be scared to death all the time.”

“My mom says that being a parent is the most vulnerable a person can be,” I tell him. “But she also says it’s the most rewarding.”

Instead of responding to my comment, he says, “Your mom must be very proud of you.”

“I think she’s proud of both me and my brother, but I don’t think that’s what she was saying. I think she was referencing all the good times we’ve shared as a family.”

“Like watching Family Feud?” he teases.

I giggle back. “Yeah.”

After a long pause, Heath finally says, “It takes a lot of courage to love someone.”

“It does.”

“And when you’ve taken that risk and lost, it takes even more courage to try again.”

“But people do it every day,” I tell him.

“People who are braver than I am.”

Lying back on the couch, I say, “I don’t think it has anything to do with bravery. Maybe what they have is hope.”

“Maybe. But my wife and son have been dead for ten years and in all that time I’ve not found whatever it is that would make it worth taking another chance like that with my heart.”

The more he talks the more I realize what a great guy Heath is. He’s smart, sensitive, and clearly wounded. Move over, Hugh Grant; Heath’s the perfect romcom hero and he’s real. But he’s also not interested in a committed relationship. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you need to believe people when they tell you who they are.

“Life hasn’t kicked me in the teeth the same way it has you, Heath, so I’m going for it. Even if Daniel isn’t the guy for me, I’m going to find out who is and I’m going to get what I’ve always wanted.”

“A husband and kids.” He sounds so sad; it breaks my heart.

“Yes.”

“Even if it means something horrible could happen and you’d have them taken away from you.”

“Even then,” I tell him. “You can’t live your life anticipating the worst. You need to believe you’re going to get a fairytale ending.”

“I hope that’s what you get, Trina. I really do. You deserve it.”

He’s right, I do. But to get the ending I deserve, I need the man I want to get onboard.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

HEATH

I should keep my distance from Trina, not try to get to know her better. It’s just that she’s been on my mind all day and as much as I’ve forced myself to stay away, I couldn’t stop wondering how things were going with Daniel.

A part of me was hoping she’d tell me they were the perfect fit, and they were going back to Chicago together. At least then I wouldn’t have to watch her fall in love with another man.

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