Page 107 of Easy Out

“Why are you telling me this? I don’t understand.” My eyes start to water, my flesh feels hot under the surface, breathing is getting difficult.

“When I left Seattle, I did it with the intention of coming back to Gemma. I loved her very much. Life had other plans.” His gaze strays to Victoria and Enzo. For some reason Enzo looks guilty. “As happy as I was to be having a baby, I didn’t want to hurt Gemma.” No. No. No. No. He isn’t saying what I think he’s saying.

“Respirar cariño,” Hart whispers. “You need to breathe.” Looking at Hart, with tears welling in my eyes, I take a deep breath along with him.

“I explained to her the situation. Gemma understood. She didn’t want to interfere with my new family.” He clears his throat before continuing. “I returned to Seattle for another assignment. I asked if I could see her again. Explain everything in person.” Morelli stares at his plate full of my mom’s pie. His hands are gripping his linen napkin so hard he’s likely to rip it apart.

“She wasn’t sure it would be a good idea. I didn’t stop asking until she agreed. I needed the closure.” A tear rolls down his cheek. I don’t think I’ve seen a grown man cry before. “I showed up at her apartment and there you were. My daughter.”

I inhale a sharp breath, my body shaking. Staring down at my hands, I try to make sense of everything. How can this be true? My head is swimming with questions that I’m not sure I want to know the answers to.

One question that keeps beating hard against my chest is, why didn’t you love me enough to stay?

“I don’t know how else to say this, but I’m your father.” I’m shaking my head before he finishes the sentence.

“No. I’m sorry but I don’t have one of those.” Morelli flinches at my harsh words. I don’t care. It’s been twenty-two years and I’ve never heard from him. How come I never knew who he was? Hart rubs a hand down my back and for some reason that makes me even angrier.

He knew. They all knew. I was invited here tonight. Wined and dined and left to have my entire world implode in front of me. Hart could have told me. He could have warned me. I feel so betrayed. I feel so alone. Again.

“I need to leave.” I stand from my chair. I’m feeling suffocated in this large room.

“I’ll take you,” Hart says, standing with me.

“No.” I close my eyes and swallow hard. “You knew and you didn’t tell me.” Hart’s eyes drop to the floor. “I need to be alone. I need space. I-I-I can’t do this right now. Please.” I hate saying that, but right now I don’t want comfort and I don’t want to be around Hart.

“I’ve got it,” Enzo says. “Come on. I’ll bring you home.” I nod in agreement. Although I don’t really want to be alone in a car with Enzo either.

Hart cups my face in his hands. My eyes close, shedding the tears that were trapped below the surface. “Lo siento. Te amo," he whispers with his forehead pressed against mine. His regret and love wash over me. I love him so much but I’m too angry to tell him right now.

I break away from Hart and follow Enzo toward the front door. I hate that I’m leaving without saying anything to Sylvie. I know if I do, she will hold me in her arms and offer me comfort I’m not sure I’m willing to accept.

“Alessa wait.” I stop in my tracks. No one has called me that in years. A chair scrapes across the floor. “Alessa,” Morelli repeats my former name and I glare at him. “Lauren,” he corrects himself, but it does nothing to alter my mood.

“If you change your mind, I would love nothing more but to have you back in my life.” His sincerity is almost too much. With a slight nod, I turn on my heel and walk away without a word or second thought.

Enzo and I silently get into his car and buckle up in our seats. There is a weird energy flowing through me. I’m agitated, uncertain, and maybe a little restless. The idea of sitting in the car for the thirty-minute drive to campus with Enzo makes me sick.

“Can you take me to Sydney’s? She lives close, right?” I ask, not taking my eyes off my window.

“Sure.” I didn’t think I wanted to be near anyone. The promise of seeing Sydney and having someone to talk to who hasn't been lying to me makes me feel a shred of relief.

“Don’t be mad at Hart,” Enzo requests. “Dad wanted to be the one to tell you. He asked us to stay quiet. Trust me. Hart wanted to tell you.” I’m sure. I try to think back over the last few weeks and our interactions.

Was there ever a moment when I thought he wanted to tell me? I can’t pinpoint anything. Hart isn’t one to wear his emotions on his sleeve. He’s always been good at masking his feelings, but I know him.

He was put in a difficult situation and picking a side couldn’t have been easy for him. It doesn’t make him not choosing me hurt any less.

We pull into Sydney’s driveway, and I unbuckle my seatbelt before he even has the car in park. “Wait. Can you just…wait a minute. Please, Lauren.” I freeze and wait for Enzo to say something else.

Enzo reaches over me to the glove compartment. He shuffles through a few papers and fishes out a couple of photographs.

“Give him a chance. Hear his side of the story. I know…” He pauses and takes in a breath. “I know it wasn’t easy for you.” His eyes burn into my profile. “But dad had a hard time too. He had to give you up. We all did.” With blurry vision Enzo drops three photographs in my lap.

One is a much younger Morelli holding a baby. I’m guessing I’m the baby. Another is a photo of me around two or three with a little boy the same age. Enzo, my brother.

I glance at Enzo. He confirms my guess with a warm smile. I bite my lip to keep it from quivering. The last photo is the three of us. Me, Morelli, and Enzo.

I don’t remember them. I don’t remember any of this. My mom had mentioned being in a love with a man, but there were never any details. She pretty much stopped talking about him altogether by the time I was seven. And when I turned eight, she was gone.

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