Page 24 of Whispers of Fire

But reality calls, and I can't ignore it. Finishing my oatmeal, I glance at the clock and realize I have to get ready for another day of school at the Faithful Lambs Institute. I’m still torn about what I must do regarding the engagement to the Shepherd. But I push it aside. There’s still time to figure it out.

As I get dressed, slipping into the façade of the perfect daughter, the perfect student, I can't shake the feeling of emptiness that lingers in the pit of my stomach.

I miss him.

Already.

God, Rose, get it together.

I try to stay away from the window room that looks over his garden. It’s too painful to look back right now. Brushing my hair, I attempt to make one perfect braid to tame the chaos in my head. As I comb my hair, I’m reminded about his eyes lingering on my hair earlier. Like an unspoken desire, as if he wanted to touch it.

I wish I knew what he thought then.

Gathering my bag and the Ascendium, I head to the door just as my parents emerge from their room, ready to drop me off at school. They don’t seem to notice I haven’t slept the whole night and that I wasn’t even in my room this morning. If they did, I wouldn’t even be standing here right now but on my knees, head in the tub.

My father ignores me while my mother puts a strange, strained smile on her face, as if she is trying to maintain a facade of normalcy.

I’m sure our family wins the prize of the strangest one existing on the planet.

The drive to school is silent, broken only by the low hum of the car engine and the occasional sighs from my parents. Each passing minute feels like an eternity as we navigate the familiar streets, our surroundings blurred by the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. My father keeps glancing at me repeatedly as if he is trying to figure me out.

The tension inside the car is palpable. I wonder if my mom talked to my father about my hesitations. As we finally pull up to the school gates, I open the door to step out and join my classmates.

“Good day, Rose,” says my mom. She almost never calls me that. Perhaps she wants me to feel special today, for what reason I have no idea.

I don’t like it, there’s something she’s not telling me.

I hear students talking and murmuring behind me.

That’s strange.

My father turns his head to me, locking his eyes in mine with a coldness that freezes my bones. “Your engagement was announced this morning. Behave yourself today, daughter, you represent more than yourself now; you’re a part of him.”

It’s already been announced?

How am I going to figure this out if everybody already knows?

The air feels heavy, suffocating, as if every breath I take is a struggle against the rising tide of panic threatening to engulf me. My heart pounds in my chest, as if the world has suddenly tilted on its axis, leaving me dizzy and disoriented. I hold onto the car door, fighting my body to not faint.

“The wedding will be in two months at the Chapel, now go on, go to class,” he says casually, pointing at the main doors of the school.

My mother stays silent, her head down, playing with her hands.

Traitor.

I close the door and they leave me there, standing under the shock of the news they just told me.

Heat spreads across my skin, flushing my cheeks crimson, while my hands are clenched into fists, nails digging into my palms. I stride towards the main doors of the school, my heart still racing with a mixture of anger and fear. The weight of my parents' expectations presses down on me like a leaden cloak. As I push open the doors and step into the bustling hallway, a wave of murmurs washes over me. Whispers follow me, eyes flickering with curiosity and judgment.

They know.

But I hold my head high, refusing to be cowed by their scrutiny. As I reach my classmates in the main hall, walking toward my locker, I plaster on a forced smile, hiding how broken I am beneath the surface. I can feel their eyes on me, wondering what I did to get myself into the most wanted position of our community.

Perhaps they will assume that I debased myself, offered my virginity or else…

Shaking slightly my head at this thought, I exhale and try to find peace in my breathing.

A voice interrupts me while I open my locker.