Page 101 of Whispers of Fire

What a show.

Never knew my father could act as a warm and worried father so well.

“Goodbye, daughter, this is the greatest honor of your life,” he says, locking his eyes in mine, a wicked smile on his face. He knows I'm stuck, and without a voice, there's not much I can do.

“Oh Rose, goodbye, my child. Your father and I will miss you so much. So much . Go on, fulfill your duty,” my mother says, crying silently, caressing my cheek so tenderly I almost believe it. Once they're satisfied, they step back a bit, to have a better view, I guess .

“Enter the bath.” His voice hits me from behind, his fist letting go of my scalp, his hand pushing my back slightly toward the water.

I remove my legs from under my thighs and enter the bath, the freezing water sending shockwaves through my body.

“More.”

I enter it fully, the water covering me from shoulders to toes.

It’s so cold.

“Survive or die. There's no way out for you, little lamb,” he says, coming closer, one knee on the ground, his hand fisting my hair and holding my neck.

Come on, Rose, one more step and you’ll be done.

I take the deepest inhale that I can before his hand pushes me under water. I've trained myself enough for it. I know what to do. Pinching my nose with my fingers, I start counting the seconds in my head. My only way to keep track of time.

20, 21, 22… I focus on my senses, the water moving around me, my heartbeat pounding slowly in my chest, my mind trying as hard as I can to stay still. I know that's how to survive this, to stay put and let the world disappear around me. Letting their voices and chants dull into white noise.

I'm almost there. I can already see the forest I will run to.

43,44,45… I swallow, ignoring my lungs burning in my chest, asking me for air. Vox flashes in my eyes, his muscular and veiny hands signing to me in a kitchen I do not know. Pink flowers in a vase on the round table behind him. The scent of leather and vanilla mixed up together in a flat, candles and plants displayed on a fireplace. I step toward him, but his body disappears in a cloud of dust.

My four dollar bills are wet, but I'll still use them to pay for a bus going as far away as I can. I will start over. I will fight for myself.

90,91,92… We're driving fast, chasing the sunrise on his bike, with towels and food in my backpack, heading towards a beach I've never been to. Vox links his fingers with mine on the sand, kissing the back of my hand and looking at me with his intoxicating gaze, making my knees weak and a blush rise on my cheeks. I try to smile back at him but my throat aches too much.

Where is the forest? I don't feel the dollars in my elastic band anymore. I don't remember why I brought them with me in the first place .

135,136,137… I'm creating a bouquet of fresh flowers with an old lady I’ve never met. Our green aprons match in the little whimsical shop. An orange cat is playing with a cactus on the counter. I laugh but the floor disappears under my feet and it all fades to black.

I need air, so bad, please, anyone, please. Let me breathe .

178,179,180… A tattooed hand caresses my swollen belly, something under my skin kicks him, and his manly and warm laugh makes me fall even harder for him. I notice the ring on his finger, but black spots cover my vision before I can ask him about it.

It should be over, please, please, please. I don't want to die .

Was it the plan all along? To make me go away?

190,191,192… Numbers melt into each other, my mind unable to keep counting. It's been over three minutes and I know I won't last any longer. My lungs are empty and so are my hopes.

Vox, my love, my everything.

I'm so sorry I wasn't strong enough.

I wish I could have told you how much I–

I stopped counting and let the water enter my nostrils and my mouth. I can’t think, I can’t breathe. I know this is the end. Everything hurts from my bones to my lungs and my aching throat brings me back to the night I've lost my voice.

To the night that changed it all.

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