Page 100 of Whispers of Fire

Three minutes, that’s all it takes.

I can do it.

I’ve trained myself for years in my shower, expecting the day this would happen. All the girls do this here. Mothers tell their daughters to do so.

Fisting my hair hard, pulling the strands so much it hurts, he kneels next to me and manages to push me to the floor before pulling my head to face him, so close our noses touch and I freeze, trying to hide my disgust as much as I can.

Once it’s done, the Elders will come and congratulate the Shepherd and it will be my opportunity to step back to the door next to the stage. An emergency exit opens right to the forest behind the Chapel, far from the parking lot.

It will be my only chance to run and hide.

My plan is bad, I know it.

But that's all I have.

“I am now going to perform the last part of the ritual.” His voice is all too eager to drown me.

None of this feels right.

There’s a tension floating in the air, all eyes on me, daring me to fight.

“There was once a time when the Divine felt a part of himself lacking. After decades of leading our community with its light, the Divine found itself in need of a womb to make him whole again. But it couldn't choose any women from the earth. No.” Shaking his head, his hands hold firm on my shoulders.

“She had to be pure and worthy enough of its power, of its gifts.” I barely listen to this tale I've heard so many times I could say it myself.

It's harder to listen to those words now that I know it’s been a lie from the beginning. I always thought about the Divine as a higher power over us, a man capable of making miracles, creating life and shaping destinies. Only the more I listen, the more it seems that the Divine has always been a fantasy, an idea coming out of the head of an ego maniac, matching his frenzied self. It has always been about him, from the beginning. My heart aches knowing all the hours I've spent praying to an empty void of nothing.

Wasted time.

Wishes turned into dust.

His hand then fists my hair harder than it should, angling it to face him from below.

“And you, Rose, will become my other half, mine.” I want to shake my head, yell, do something to tell them that no.

I will never be his.

Because someone else has already gathered the broken pieces of my heart. Someone who deserves it. Somehow who's as broken as I am and still wants me.

“You've been chosen by the Divine to welcome our children and become worthy of the Ascendium.” He looks up toward the ceiling as if the Divine itself could see him.

Murmurs and prayers surround me.

“What an honor.”

“Bless your heart.”

“We shall pray for your children.”

“Oh, Holy Shepherd, show us the way.”

“Quiet!” he shouts.

The silence is immediate.

“It's time, Rose. Say goodbye to your parents; you shall come out of this ritual forever changed. You'll belong to me.” He stares at me, pulling so hard at my scalp my eyes get watery.

My parents walk towards the stage, both of them standing beside me while I’m still kneeling on the floor, my hair gathered into the fist of the Shepherd.

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