Page 28 of Never Too Late

“I knew I was in love with you the first time I saw you. I just wish I told you sooner. I wish I had more time to tell you I did.”

Yesterday’s weather was the worst I’ve seen in a while. I don’t think I’ve ever seen lighting act so intense before. So aggressively. And because of that, the store and high street have been empty. Understandably, not many people would want to travel out, worried the thunder would return, but I can’t help the feeling of jealousy that envelopes my mind.

I can’t help but imagine the feeling of riding in the storm.

The pressure of the force of the wind, the lights striking up above, the sound booming all around.

“If I knew lightning was all it took to make the town close and people stay at home, I’d have arranged that myself a lonngggg time ago,” Ty announces while strutting over with two coffees in hand. “Even Cee is closing the shop early – Cee. That man hasn’t closed early in, I don’t even want to know how many years. If our man closes early, you know it’s serious.”

Sometimes I wonder if Tyler thinks about what he says before he says it, almost like word vomit. But then when I sit and think harder, I realise he doesn’t.

It’s exhausting being the brains of the family.

I return my attention back to the rows of records I’m currently arranging in alphabetical order on display when Tyler comes to join me on the ground.

“You’ll never guess who I bumped into yesterday.”

“Hmm?”

“Little red riding hood.”

That caught my attention. I haven’t seen Idah since I ran away from her in the coffee shop.

“Since when did you give her that nickname? And how did you scare her off this time?” I reply, smirking.

“I didn’t, actually. I was the knight in shining armour this time. She was in Cee’s with a guy while it was thundering. The poor guy had it hard, I saw him collapse to the floor. He was hyperventilating, Cee and Idah were both panicking, they didn’t know what to do. I helped move everything out the way and bring him back around. I haven’t seen him around town before, Cee mentioned he hasn’t been here long. She seemed really attached to him and worried. It was difficult to watch. I made sure to stick around until I knew they were both okay. You sure Idah’s not attracted to men? I mean, they looked pretty close to me.”

“You can be close to someone of the opposite sex and not be sexually attracted to them, you imbecile,” I say with a hint of aggression in my voice.

“Yeah, well, anyway. I was just saying I’d seen her, that’s all. I thought you’d be interested.”

“Just because I’m attracted to both men and women doesn’t mean I’m attracted to every female I come across either.”

“Jeeez, don’t shoot the messenger. There’s no need to snap. I’m just trying to cheer you up – you’ve been quiet recently. You haven’t been yourself. Is everything okay?”

It takes me a moment to reply to his question because I don’t know the answer. Deep down, I don’t know if I have ever been okay.

“I’m sorry, Ty. I’m fine, I think. Why wouldn’t I be?” I lie.

Sometimes a lie is easier than the truth.

“I know you better than I know myself, D. I know when you’re not okay. Please let me in. Whatever it is, we can work through it together. Yeah?” he pleads.

I don’t respond to Tyler because I don’t know how to.

Tyler unfolds his legs and starts to stand up, the look of defeat evident in his features. “I’ll be in the back if you need me.”

And he starts to walk away.

It takes me seconds to register what he’s just said while I’m sitting playing with my thumbs with endless thoughts running through my mind at one million miles an hour. I’ve always been open with Tyler about who I am, but Jae is the one thing I’ve never shared with anyone. Except those who were around, mostly because I’ve always been scared for whatever reason, that he’d be taken away.

Until he was.

“Tyler, wait.”

He stiffens and turns around slowly, hesitantly bringing his head over his shoulder, almost as though he’s scared I'll change my mind and not speak to him.

“There’ s something I need to talk to you about, it will probably explain everything… or some things at least. Maybe it will explain why I am the way I am, why I’m being quiet.”

---