Page 19 of Never Too Late

Until I got shot.

I couldn’t afford distractions, and then it hit me at a time when I was off guard.

I couldn’t bring myself to read the letters after I had seen the envelopes. Which is both a nightmare and a blessing in disguise.

After carefully putting the letters back into the box the same way I had taken them out, I discard the larger box and place the container in the bottom drawer of the dressing unit to keep it out of sight. Hopefully they get forgotten about and are never seen again.

And for the hundredth time since moving to my sanctuary, I question if moving here was the right thing for me to do after all.

Thankfully my thoughts are distracted quickly when I notice my phone flashing and the ringtone going off showing a text message on the screen from an unsaved number.

Unknown: Hey, I don’t know if you remember me. I mean, you probably don’t. I’m the girl you met in Cee’s, notepad, red hair, fan of rhodium, right? Anyway, I was wondering if you wanted to do something as we’re both lonely. Cee has been pushing me for a week to text. Do you want to meet for a coffee or go for a walk? I like to take a long walk through the graveyard most days around noon, if you feel like joining, you’re more than welcome too. I guess we could both use a friend right now. Idah x

Quickly putting my shoes and coat on, I find myself smiling again. Maybe Idah is right. We could both do with a friend

As I’m walking along the narrow streets, surrounded by the sight of green trees and fresh air, I’m distracted from all my negative thoughts, and I am reminded why this was the best choice for me.

The open air and the fields around me become my new safety shield.

The way they symbolise so much, so effortlessly.

The way they symbolise freedom.

As relieved as I was to get a text from Idah asking to join her for a walk, my heart also sank when I learnt that the graveyard was one I was already intimately aware of. A place I was already familiar with. I knew this was one of the few cemeteries in town, but I didn’t think it would be the exact same one when she first texted me the postcode.

In fact, I hoped it wouldn’t be this exact one.

I decide to take my time walking through the open car park, thanking the fact there weren’t many cars around and I was alone, hesitantly taking small footsteps one at a time. Trying to think of anything else than the pretty boy with blue eyes that haunts my mind.

“Come on, sunshine, catch up. You’re meant to be a soldier. You should be faster at walking than me. You’re being a slow coach,” Dax jokes, pulling my hand in an attempt to make me walk quicker than the slow pace I am currently going.

I’ve been at training all day, so I don’t think I could walk any faster if I wanted to. That and I enjoy my time with him, our fingers locked together. The two of us soaking up each other’s company. Dax’s hands are a little bit smaller than mine, but our hands fit together perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle joining together. The new tattoo he had a few days ago on his wrist, peeking out from the sleeve of my oversize jacket, fills me with a large amount of pride. The delicate floral patterns decorating his pale skin stand in contrast against my darker skin, fitting together as though it was always meant to be like this between the two of us.

“That’s the second time I’ve caught you staring at our hands. You have some sort of hand kink now?” Dax asks, fluttering his dark eyelashes that frame his eyes at me.

I shake my head, not verbally replying as I allow him to lead the way, bringing me through what appears to be a graveyard.

The sky is starting to get dark now, but from what I can see in the little light beaming from the streetlamps and fairy lights around the graveyard, it is breathtaking.

Large trees guard the small area, as though they know it’s their job to protect. Rows upon rows of flower beds decorate the floor, it’s as though my whole vision was a painting. The area is beautiful, well-kept and mesmerising.

“When you asked me to borrow Isaac’s car, I didn’t know you were going to bring me on a date to a graveyard. It is beautiful, but it is a bit morbid, don’t you think?” I laugh as he tries to glare at me, but he can’t hold it for long before his face transforms back to a smile.

“Shh. It’s what’s behind the graveyard that I want to show you. Come on, through this gate.” He opens the small wooden gate, leading to an open space. I’ve never been so close to the edge of a cliff before, nor been so close to the ocean. My first thought is why hasn’t Dax brought me during the day, because I can only imagine how mesmerising it would be with the sun hitting the ocean and the reflection causing the flowers around to shimmer, but the moment I tilt my head to look at the sky, my breath is taken away. Focusing on the stars over our heads, my previous thought is instantly wiped away. Stars embed the dark night sky, creating an overlay of colours. If it wasn’t for the subtle wind and the waves crashing, you wouldn't recognise the water below, the reflection losing where the sky and sea meet, creating an illusion I’ve never seen before.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dax asks. Still looking up at the sky, unable to take his eyes away.

It truly is. But it isn’t the most beautiful thing before my eyes.

“Nothing will ever be as beautiful as you.” I say with confidence. Not allowing him time to reply, I pull him against me, leading him to stand in front, wrapping my arms around his waist. He attempts to speak, most likely in protest, but is quickly silenced as I start pressing gentle kisses along his neck, pulling the collar of his jacket and T-shirt out of the way, slightly allowing me to move my lips down the curve of his shoulder. My chest fills with warmth as the sounds of his heavy breathing block out the sound of the waves and fill the space around us.

Thankfully, as I turn the corner shortly after walking through the large gates, I notice a girl with red hair, sitting on the floor holding a bunch of sunflowers in one hand and writing in a journal with the other. I slowly walk over to her, in an attempt not to distract her from what she’s doing, but I also don’t want to scare her.

“Hey, sorry to sneak up on you like this, Idah,” I say, coming round to her left side.

“You came. Hi Jae. Take a seat? It’s dry. I promise.”

After taking a seat beside Idah on the blanket she has already laid out, I take a moment to look closely at the gravestone opposite us. I wonder if it’s worth letting Idah know I already knew about this place, but that’s a conversation for another time.

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