Page 99 of Falling Like Stars

The weight of expectation—of questions that only I can answer—falls heavily on my shoulders while humiliation burns through my veins like molten glass. Because I don’t have answers. Because I was drunk and blacked out and don’t know what Eva did or didn’t do to me.

To be a father, I think. I’ve always wanted to be one, someday, but not like this. Fucking hell, not like this.

I turn and it’s like facing the world’s most compassionate firing squad. My team all wear the same expressions of concern mixed with delicate curiosity. My options: tell the truth or lie and say I knowingly—willingly—slept with Eva on Oscar night.

Or I could hurl myself out the window and save us all the headache.

I turn to Jackson. My lawyer looks like a movie star himself in a blue suit and yellow paisley tie. “Has she reached out to you about any of this?”

“I talked to her recently, but not about this particular subject,” he says. “She’s making noise about the sale of the house. She wants a cut.”

Unsurprising. And the least of my worries. I look to Chase. “Is this going to screw the deal with Paramount and No Man’s Land?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Chase demurs. “But it’s not great. Your reputation is impeccable. I’d hate to see this kind of thing tarnish it.”

I imagine his unspoken questions: Did you do the tarnishing? Did “the internet’s boyfriend” fuck Eva, knock her up, then kick her out of the house in order to immediately move on with another woman?

“Zach?”

I break from my thoughts. “What do you think, Courtney? Do we have to respond?”

“Without more information, I don’t see any upside to responding,” My publicist says, tossing a long length of dark hair over her shoulder and peering at me through black-framed glasses. “I feel we have two options: we can wait it out, take the chance that she’s not pregnant—”

“Would she lie about something like that?” Syd cuts in.

“Yes,” I say instantly. “She’s a narcissist and a sociopath. Even if she’s telling the truth, it’s a fucked-up game to her.”

The people around the table exchange looks; this is all news to them, as I’d done my best to not trash talk Eva to anyone.

No good deed goes unpunished, I think, and glance away from Syd’s concerned gaze. “What’s the other option?”

“If she is pregnant and claims you’re the father, we could get seven more months of her writing the narrative. In either case, I recommend reaching out to her. Clearing the air, before we make any response.”

Which is exactly what Eva wants. Ignoring her only makes her angrier, and God knows what she’d do or say if she got angrier. I can take it, but she’d ruin Rowan’s career. She’s already begun to paint her as a villain. I have to get to Eva quick, stop the blood flow before it’s too late.

And just how the fuck do you think you’re going to do that? Reason with her?

The idea nearly makes me laugh. I scrub my face with both hands. “I’ll go see her. Jackson, let her know immediately that I want a face-to-face.”

“You got it.”

“Where is she, anyway?”

“Florida. In Miami, in meetings with Rob Melvin about Hellbent, the Godsent spinoff.”

“Fine,” I say. “I’ll go to Miami. Thanks, all. We’re done here. Syd, can I have a word?”

They all rise except for my manager, and Jackson slides a set of keys across the table. “Before I forget. The house is yours. I’ll text you the security code.”

“Right. Thanks.”

Yesterday, before the shit hit the fan, I’d toured a place in the Trousdale Estates and made an offer to rent. It’s smaller than the house in the Hills, but still plenty big, and feels homier. Like a place I could settle down in. It’s amazing how much has changed since I had that feeling and now.

My team files out but for Syd. When the door is closed, he folds his hands on the desk. “I notice you didn’t put this whole thing to rest by saying it’s impossible for you to be the father.”

“Because I don’t know, Syd,” I say, and let out a breath. “The truth is, I don’t know what happened on Oscar night with Eva. I was blackout drunk, so yes, it’s possible she’s pregnant and it’s mine.”

“Did you want to reconcile with her that night?”

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