Page 6 of Remember Us This Way

Here I was thinking my biggest problem was underarm sweat patches on the first day of school. What a joke.

I knew something was off. The second I woke up this morning, my stomach was twisted in knots. I always had a sixth sense when it came to Noah, and here it was screaming at me to run for the hills.

It’s one thing seeing him again, but having to be his guide through East View High? What am I supposed to do when he inevitably tells me to get lost? Drop to my knees in the middle of the school and weep? Scream, fight, or beg for him to love me again? I understand why Maya asked this of me. She’s a desperate parent, and she’s reached the point where she’s willing to risk my heart in order to save him, but where the hell was my backbone when I needed it? Where were my fight-or-flight instincts?

I should have run.

The second Maya showed up and said Noah was enrolled at East View, I should have run and never looked back. It couldn’t be too hard, right? Hell, Noah did it without even glancing back.

With tears in my eyes, I slide out of bed and trudge across my room, wiping my cheeks on the back of my hand. I hear Mom and Maya laughing downstairs, already on their second bottle of wine and acting as though they don’t have a care in the world. When in reality, these two have had to deal with more in their lives than any parent ever should.

Standing in front of my mirror, I look at myself, like really look at myself. I’m not the same girl I used to be. When he last saw me, I was thirteen, scrawny, and didn’t have a clue how to do my hair or makeup. But I’m different now, and I try to see the woman he’ll see me as tomorrow.

My drab chestnut hair used to be stick-straight and hang limply around my shoulders, but it’s longer and thicker now, and my mom let me get highlights and lowlights put in the last time she took me for a cut.

With a sigh, I brush my hair away from my face and tilt my chin from side to side. I don’t exactly feel glamorous, even with blush on my cheeks and my new lip gloss and mascara. Dad lost the fight when it came to me wearing makeup, but it’s not like I overdo it like some of the girls at school.

My gaze shifts down my body. The last time he saw me, we were too young to look at each other in a sexual way, but now . . . I don’t know. I wonder if he’ll like what he sees. If I’m the kind of girl he likes.

I don’t exactly have an hourglass figure, but it’s well on its way. I love my subtle curves. They’re just enough for me to feel beautiful and feminine. The boobs came in a little late, but beggars can’t be choosers. They’re on the small side, but I don’t need much. Besides, it’s not like I have anyone I want to show them off for.

I have a great group of friends, and while they’re all boy crazy, I’m a little more chill. I’ve had a few silly crushes over the past few years, but nothing that could possibly rival what I had with Noah. Because of that, I haven’t even bothered with dating. Besides, what does it even matter? I’m only sixteen. The guys I know aren’t exactly A+ material, and if I were to take my father’s advice, I wouldn’t be dating until I was at least thirty.

Mom and Dad are always on my case about setting a good example for Hazel. They say she’ll be following right behind me soon enough, but I don’t really see it that way. I feel like she should be free to make her own footsteps, not follow mine. Though, if she wanted to walk beside them, I think I could get down with that.

My gaze is traveling back up my body when my phone rings on the end of my bed. For just a moment, I consider letting it ring out, but when I see Tarni’s name across the screen, I realize she’s just going to keep calling. Scooping it up, I thank my lucky stars that it’s not a video call and hit accept. “Hey, what’s up?” I say, moving back to the mirror and continuing my in-depth audit of my body.

“You were supposed to call me back.”

“Yeah, sorry,” I say. “I was—”

“Who cares?” she rushes out. “Have you heard? Duh, of course you’ve heard. Maya was just at your place.”

The color drains from my face as my stomach sinks, not liking where this is going. “Heard what?” I ask cautiously, hoping that the rumor mill isn’t already spinning wildly through East View.

“Are you kidding?” Tarni booms. “Noah freaking Ryan! He’s transferring to East View. Isn’t that like . . . woah! How could you not tell me the second you found out? I mean, like . . . my mind is blown. This is insane.”

Insane is definitely one way to put it.

“I, umm—”

“Holy crap. Can you imagine? Noah Ryan. He’s legit the most popular guy in like a fifty-mile radius! The parties that are gonna be partied. God, I knew this year was going to be epic.” Tarni finally takes a breath before her tone shifts, almost sounding like a warning. “You’re not gonna be . . . weird about this, are you?” she questions. “It’s been like three years. That’s long enough to be over . . . whatever it was going on between you guys, right? Because, girl, I love you and all, but I can’t have you being all sad Zoey again and making us stay home when the parties are going down. That would be social suicide.”

I grit my teeth, trying to remind myself just how much Tarni has done for me over the years. She’s a great friend, but sometimes she gets carried away and opens her mouth before thinking about the words coming out of it.

“I’m fine,” I finally tell her, shrugging it off and not daring to let her know just how hard I’m taking this. “Noah and I are old news. It’s been so long, he’s basically a stranger to me now.”

“Oh, thank God,” she says with a heavy sigh. “I just know Abby and Cora are going to be beside themselves when they hear about this. Not to mention, I’ve already heard the cheerleaders are calling dibs on who gets to screw him first.”

I’m taken aback, feeling completely blindsided as undeniable pain slices straight through my chest. I’ve never considered the fact that Noah could be sleeping around, but I suppose you don’t become that popular by not smashing your way through a whole cheerleading team.

I was agonizing about how I’ve changed over the years, but it didn’t occur to me until now that Noah would be older too. All this time, he’s been frozen in my mind, still the fourteen-year-old boy I used to know, but when I see him tomorrow, he’ll be different. He’s a legend in this town, the quarterback at every school he’s been kicked out of. Not that I’m keeping tabs on him or anything, but where Noah Ryan is concerned, word spreads like wildfire . . . or like the cheerleaders' legs at East View High.

Just great. Not only do I have to worry about those dark eyes of his showing up when I least expect it, but now I have to be cautious walking around every corner just in case Noah is hooking up with random girls in hallways.

“Ah, shit. That’s Cora calling me now,” Tarni says quickly. “Did you need a lift to school in the morning, or am I meeting you there?”

“Oh, umm . . . meet me there,” I tell her, all too aware of the fact that by the time everyone else arrives at school, I’ll have already suffered through the worst emotional trauma after meeting Noah in the student office.

---