Page 19 of Burden to Bear

There wasn’t much I’d been able to forget about the last two weeks or so of my life.

“Well, did you have a nice Christmas?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. It was okay. I spent some time making the rounds with family. How about you?”

I swallowed hard. This had been the worst Christmas I could ever remember. But I refused to sit in it or dwell on the things that brought me down. This was a moment to cheer myself up and be distracted, so I wanted to take advantage of it. “Unlike you, I didn’t make any rounds. I stayed here, but my family came to visit me on Christmas Day.”

“That’s nice. Where do they live?” he asked.

“They’re only two hours north of here in Mount Laurel,” I shared.

With a nod of understanding, Brock said, “That’s not bad. Was it your parents or extended family, too?”

“Oh, it was just my parents and my older brother.”

“Was this their first time at your house?” he pressed.

“Well, my brother helped me move in, so he had already seen the place,” I shared. “But this was my parents’ first visit here. It was nice to have them all here with me for my first Christmas in the new house. They spent the night here, left the next day, and I hate to admit it, but I didn’t leave my house for the rest of the week.”

Brock let out a laugh. “That explains why I didn’t see you much. I thought you might have left to go visit family that week.”

While his comment was probably meant to be friendly and conversational, I couldn’t ignore one thing about it. Even if there was nothing behind it beyond it being merely an observation, Brock had thought about me. He’d noticed I hadn’t been around, and in a weird way, that brought me some comfort. If for no other reason, it was nice to know I had a neighbor who paid attention.

For the first time since I heard my baby’s heartbeat at that doctor’s appointment, I smiled a genuine smile and felt something warm hit the center of my chest. “No, I didn’t do any traveling. I was just lazy and exhausted, so I used the time to catch up on sleep. And I did a fair amount of eating, too.”

Brock laughed again. “It sounds like you enjoyed yourself, and that’s what really matters, right?”

I gave him a nod. “Exactly. And now we’re back to the routine, aren’t we?”

He sighed. “Unfortunately, that is the truth. But on the bright side, maybe I’ll see you here again tomorrow.”

The bright side.

He thought seeing me at the mailbox and having a five-minute conversation was something to look forward to.

I guess, now that I was standing here with him, feeling the best I had in days, I couldn’t say I disagreed much with that sentiment. Maybe I could start doing that—looking for the silver lining in everything. Perhaps I could find it easier to get through the days and accomplish some of the things I knew I needed to start tackling.

Loving that Brock gave me that new perspective, I beamed at him. “Yeah. You’ll definitely see me here tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a plan to me. I’ll let you go now, but I’ll look forward to having a chat with you tomorrow after work,” he said. His tone was light and teasing, and somehow, it seemed to lift a bit of the heaviness I’d been feeling for the last two days from my shoulders.

Giving myself permission to lean into that feeling, I teased back. “Don’t be late.”

Brock laughed and promised, “I’ll be here on time.”

Still smiling at him, I hesitated a beat before I said, “Goodnight, Brock.”

His voice dipped low. “Goodnight, Mia.”

Brock had said those two words to me before, but tonight, they felt different. I just couldn’t quite put my finger on the reason why.

But when I got inside my house and was alone again, I realized that I didn’t feel the same sense of doom and gloom that I hadn’t been able to shake for days now.

Was a simple conversation with Brock all I’d needed?

Brock

We were finally in the thick of it.

---