Page 281 of Unexpected Hero

“What are you talking about? What medicine?”

Am I hallucinating? Special hiding places and magic medicine?

Did I just enter the Shire from The Lord of the Rings? Is Vanessa auditioning for the role of Gollum?

Fuck. I’m losing it.

“Before one of us is ready to leave, they maybe give her drugs. Like her.” She points at a girl in the corner, who’s sprawled out like a starfish.

“She’s on drugs?”

“Yes. They start her on drugs three days ago. When she leave, she will need more drugs. They keep her that way. Control her.”

I glance over at the passed-out girl, realizing I haven’t seen her much today. Because she’s been in here high or passed out. That’s so fucked up.

But at least it’s a break from the pain.

Maybe it’s a mercy in disguise.

“Don’t worry. You too pretty for that. Probably no drugs for you. Not yet.”

I wrinkle my nose. “Why does that matter?”

“You’ll be sold at auction. She’ll work on streets.”

Realization hits me like a kick to the tit.

Since she’ll be out on the streets, she could escape. So they’re making her an addict, keeping her dependent on them.

Everything has been planned. It’s structured and calculated. We’re not the first, and we won’t be the last.

And we’re nothing to them. A product. A commodity. Things they can control, right down to the circuitry in our mind.

Even our brain cells are under their influence.

This whole time, I’ve been telling myself that they can’t change who I am on the inside. They might have my body, but I’ll never let them claim the rest of me.

That was a lie. A fantasy.

There’s no hope left for me to cling to. They’ve managed to take away everything. We have no autonomy. None.

They decide if we eat, drink, or starve. They decide when we use the bathroom or sleep. They decide if we live or die.

And now, our emotions and cravings are at their mercy too.

This is madness.

My throat grows thick, and my sinuses sting. Tears pool in my eyes, poised to run down my cheeks.

No matter how much I fight, they will break me eventually.

Somehow, they’ll win.

I went from existing in one prison to another, with only a brief interlude between the two.

At least for a time, I lived. Truly lived.

With James by my side, I was loved, independent, and happy.He showed me I was strong enough to banish the shame I thought would be my eternal shadow.