Page 254 of Unexpected Hero

You really did it this time, boy.

No one can stand you.

You fuck up everything you touch.

My foot taps, and my knee jumps around so much that I have to hold it steady with my hand.

Breathing in and out, I read and reread the messages again. Her points were perfectly clear despite the broken grammar and text-speak toward the end when she obviously became more upset.

She thinks I see her as a charity project.

She thinks I wouldn’t want to have a baby with her.

She thinks I don’t love her.

Wrong on all three counts.

And if her believing all those lies isn’t bad enough, she doesn’t want to see me. She needs time to think.

More than likely, she’ll be thinking about how to break up with me.

For a year, I’ve been on borrowed time with her. My only hope was that she’d love me enough to forgive me when I told her the truth about her father and how I found her.

I knew she’d be mad, but I thought there was a chance she’d find it in her heart to forgive me eventually. After all, she knows the real me, even if my name isn’t James fucking Harris.

But if she can’t forgive me for the stupid morning after pills and the damn bedroom set, then how the fuck will she forgive me for the rest?

“Fuck!” I yell to my empty living room, my fist drilling into the couch cushion beside me.

How do I fix this?

Can I?

It’s hard to think with all these unfamiliar emotions rioting inside me — remorse, desperation, longing, and gut-wrenching sadness.

After another set of cleansing breaths, I grab my keys. I’m going to that damn bar to see her. No fucking clue what I’ll say to her. But one thing is for damn sure, there’s nothing I can do to fix it while sitting on my couch berating myself.

The last time she pushed me away — back when she lived at the damn hotel — I stayed away for a fucking month. And it nearly killed me.

She wanted me to fight for her. So a fight is what she’s going to get.

Earlier, I tracked her phone to the Stumbling Sea Turtle dance club after they left dinner before I forced myself to stop stalking her. I’m glad I did, though. That’s my destination.

I throw on my shoes and head out. I don’t even bother to turn off my GPS beacon once I’m in my car. No one at Redleg cares where I go. Not sure why I ever adjust it.

No one cares about you.

Why would anyone care? All I’ve ever been good at is my job, whether in the military intelligence unit or at Redleg. The only things that have ever made sense to me are machines. Who could ever care about — let alone love — a man who can’t process anything other than binary?

I was fooling myself with Lettie for far too long.

But I won’t be able to live with myself if I don’t fight for her.

By the time I arrive at the club, it’s well after midnight. Three guys walk past my car, dressed impeccably. I glance down at my jeans and basic T-shirt.

I don’t belong in a place like this.

Oh fucking well.

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