Page 130 of Unexpected Hero

Powerless to disobey him, I yell a litany of sheer nonsense, “Oh my god. Shit. Yes. Yes, yes, shit. Fuck.”

Moving faster now, he swirls and gyrates his fingertips over my clit. “Yes, sweetness. That’s it. Good girl.”

I would have stopped by now if that were my hand, but his continued assault on my body prolongs the ecstasy. When I hit the top of that peak, I keep going over it, flying into the clouds until I can’t maintain it anymore. A pained groan escapes me when I reach the limit, and I shove his hand away, involuntarily scooting back from him.

“Fucking hell, you’re sexy when you come,” he whispers from somewhere beside me.

The only reason I know he’s not on top of me is because I feel his warm breath flutter against my shoulder.

But I can’t open my eyes.

The persistent post-climax guilt and shame wrap me up, bolder and more insistent than when I’m alone. I try to bat the negative emotions away, but I can’t. I’m not strong enough to fight them.

My chin quivers as the tears build at a rate I’ve never experienced. I shift to the side so he doesn’t see me, but I don’t think I can hide this from him unless I run to the bathroom. And I don’t trust my legs right now.

I haven’t cried after orgasming for a long time. A few years, I think. But tonight, I did something I’ve never done before.

I let a man see my body. Feel me. Touch me. Please me.

And I liked it.

Consciously, I know it’s not dirty, but I feel like filth.

Chapter 25

Bending with the wind

TOMER

“Lettie, talk to me. What’s wrong?”

My already racing pulse kicks up even more frantically as panic unfurls inside me.

I know I didn’t hurt her.I had her consent.And she undoubtedly enjoyed what I was doing.

So why the fuck is she crying and cowering from me?

What the hell did I do now? Did I cross a line? How did everything go wrong this fast?

It’s your fault, boy.

You always ruin everything.

Sniffling back a sob, she rolls onto her side, shifting away from me. Her face hides behind her forearm, and her lower arm covers her exposed chest.

I don’t stray from the club for this very reason. I’m out of my element here. When I engage with a sub, there’s an agreement. We lay out the scene, talking about shit like this in advance. I don’t like these types of surprises because I never know what the fuck to do.

Or what I did to cause it — which is nothing new, I suppose.

Just not in sexual situations. But the disconcerting emotion is the same. As many times as this feeling scratches my insides, it never gets easier to take.

The rush of confusion fades away quickly, and I shift into aftercare mode, muscle memory taking control. I’ll treat it as if she used a safe word to stop a scene. That happens. Nothing I can’t handle.

My chest expands, allowing room for a swell of confidence. I got this.

Tentatively, I caress her shoulder and speak in a soothing tone. “Lettie, I don’t know what’s wrong, but I’m right here. Can you tell me what’s going on? Let me help you.”

No response.

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