Page 115 of Unexpected Hero

“Don’t be mad. I made it clear I’d be paying him back for everything.”

After giving me the death stare to end all death stares, she forces me to spill the entire story. So I tell her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Mortification wraps me from head to toe like a plush Snuggie.

When I’m done explaining, I put my head down, awaiting her judgment.

Instead of yelling at me, she’s quiet for a long time. Too long.

Stella and I aren’t known for silence.

When I muster enough courage to glimpse at the screen, she’s dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

“Is it allergies, or are you crying?”

“I’m crying, you dumbass.” She sniffles. “Why didn’t you call me? I’d have helped you.”

“I know you would have. And that’s exactly why I didn’t ask.”

“What do you mean?”

“I need to do this on my own. This move. This job. This,” I gesture up and down my body, “whatever this mess is inside me. I have to figure it out for myself. Sink or swim.” My cheeks puff up with air. “You’ve worked hard to earn enough money to live on your own and build your business from the ground up. You’re following your dreams, and it’s beautiful. I couldn’t be happier for you. But I also can’t take any of that from you. I didn’t earn it. So yes, I hid it from you, and I’m sorry for upsetting you. But I’d do it again the same way.”

“Yet you’ll take money from a stranger. How is that better?”

Fantastic question, and it’s one I’ve turned around in my head enough to formulate what I hope is a partially coherent answer.

“James didn’t know me enough to be disappointed in me. All he saw is a woman who needed help. That’s it. He doesn’t have a clue about all the shit I’ve been through.” I close my eyes and purse my lips. “Well, he didn’t at first. He knows most of it now. But my point is this... he didn’t give me charity because he felt sorry for all I’ve been through. He did it to be nice. And further, his judgment wasn’t important. Not at first. It is now, and that’s where I get mega confused.”

“I’m not following.”

“Because my thoughts are convoluted at best. Let me try again.” Deep breath, in and out. “If a random person — and he was at the time — sees me as a failure, it’s not the same as you or Mama seeing me that way. I accepted his help because I was starving and at the end of my rope. He was there, offered help, and although it hurt to accept the handout, I did. It was either that or admit my failure to the people I love. But whether he saw me as a screwup didn’t matter. For all I knew, I’d never see him again. But for you...” My words trail off as tears fill my eyes.

“I think I get it. But you should know I wouldn’t have seen you differently. Your mother? Yes. She’s a special kind of bitch. Her nose is so high in the air she could drown in a rainstorm. But I’d never make you feel bad for needing a hand. We don’t have that type of relationship.”

“Stella, I know that. I really do. This isn’t a reflection on you and our friendship. It’s all on me.”

She tips her head and waits silently, encouraging me to continue at my own pace.

“I was foolish enough to think that if I left, I’d be able to make it without any help. I’d show Mama she was wrong about me. I wasn’t destined to be a disappointment like she always predicted. Like my birth mother. And I’d make Papa proud.” My chin wobbles. “And everyone back home would see me as a success, including you. But if I asked for help, all that would be gone.”

She picks up her disgusting reptile friend and cuddles it to her chest. I’m too emotionally drained to give her shit about it. I barely flinch.

“I understand, baby. I don’t see myself in that category. I’d be part of your team, you know? But I get why you viewed it that way. After all the shit your mama said to you for your entire life, I know why you need to do this yourself. But for the love of melted cheese, don’t lump me in with her anymore. I’m on Team Lettie. I’ll help you stick it to her. Put a hair right in her biscuit. Okay?”

An honest smile creases my lips.

“I mean it. If you need someone to drive the getaway car or to show up with a shovel to bury the body, I’m there.”

“I’m so lucky to have you.”

Her nods grow in size and speed. “You really, really are. I’m fantastic. Everyone says so.”

Lightness returns, lifting my spirits. “Do you forgive me?”

“I forgive you. Because I’m the captain of Team Lettie. Even when our team does dumb shit because the coach is a hot mess.”

“Thanks.”

She heaves a weary sigh, one side of her head falling toward her shoulder. “Now, with that out of the way, back to James. If I’d have known how he found you, the advice I gave you about him would have differed.”

---