Page 114 of Unexpected Hero

Despite raising my middle finger at the screen, my rapidly shaking shoulders reveal how humorous I find her crazy diatribe. “Back to your question, please. Stay on topic. I have only so many hours before I have to go back to work.”

“Excellent point. I apologize. Please describe what scene sent you tumbling down a porn hole.”

My nose wrinkles involuntarily. “That sounds horrible.” I shake my head and give her the answer she’s seeking. “In the scene, the main love interest had her tied to a bench of sorts. Her ass was in the air, and there was room for one of the other men,” I clear my throat and lean closer to the screen so I can whisper, “to position himself underneath her and put his P in her V. Meanwhile, the hero was having P in the A sex with her, and a third man was in her mouth.”

“Nice. Triple penetration with a side of Eiffel Tower, assuming the hero and the guy getting a BJ did a high five over her back.” Her eyes flit to the ceiling as if she’s visualizing it. “Did you find that position online? If not, I’m sure I can locate it for you.”

I wave my hand. “That won’t be necessary. I found something that gave me the gist of it.”

There go her overzealous eyebrows again, and she adds a purring sound. “Hot, huh?”

“I had no idea you could have sex with two men before. Down there.” I motion to my lower body. “It’s not hard to imagine one in your mouth and another in your... ahem. But two down there at the same time? I couldn’t visualize how that would work. Logistically.” I waft my pajama top around, fanning myself.

“Plus, the bench thing. That’s even more to imagine. Do you remember what type of bench it was?”

“No. And I don’t care.” My head falls back, and I jokingly put my hand on my chest. “Fucking hell, that was hot. I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. Two at the same time?”

“Oh, it’s amazing.”

My jaw drops to my chest. “Seriously? You’ve done that?”

She bites her lip. “Oh yeah. And you can even get two in the same hole.”

“Shut up. You lie.”

She holds up her hand, palm facing the screen. “Honest.”

“We’ll need to have an entire conversation about this. But later. I need to get your feedback on something else first. And I have some shit to do before work. I’m starting to feel a major time crunch.”

She gives me a salute. “Major time crunch.”

Damn. “I walked right into that one.”

“You so did.” She quickly grows serious. “Now, what’s up?”

After taking a deep breath, I tell her about Freya and our conversation about the sexual tension and how she casually mentioned there’s no rule about staff being involved, including dungeon monitors. Then I quickly pivot to how he insisted on following me home and walking me to my door like he’s my personal bodyguard.

As I speak, she nods in long, contemplative movements. “Where’s your head? What are you thinking?”

“Stella, I don’t freaking know what to think. I’m utterly confused. On one hand, he treats me like this fragile, precious creature in dire need of salvation. All the while, I literally feel how profoundly he wants me beyond a shadow of a doubt. His desire is so potent it surrounds me like a fog of pheromones.” I massage my temples. “I get how that must sound ludicrous. I mean, what do I know about desire, right?”

“I didn’t say that. You’re a smart girl. You’ve always had loads of empathy. If you think he’s attracted to you, he most likely is. I don’t see that as the area where your wires get crossed.”

That makes it marginally more digestible. She’s not the type to give me lip service. Never has been.

“But on the other hand, he makes up lies to avoid being with me, which is the definition of he’s just not into you.”

“Right. I agree.”

“Why does he care so much if I’m safe or not? Who am I to him?” I throw my hands out to the sides and let my head lop backward, eyes rolling toward the heavens. “If he isn’t interested in me romantically, why does he bend over backward to ensure I have a job? That I have enough food, money, gas? Pay for the urgent care visit for my broken toes? Take me grocery shopping? Watch movies with me and text me so much? Follow me home and walk me to the door for my safety? Why? He does all that and then kisses the ever-loving life out of me, telling me he wants to bend me over the hood of his car. But then he’s like,” I lower my voice, “no, nope, no thanks.” I clench my jaw, letting my eyes fall back to the screen while huffing, “Gah! Who does that?”

Stella’s eyes fill with rage, and her fingers are cast into a curved shape like she’s holding a crystal ball, about to crush it with her bare hands.

Oh shit.

I said things I shouldn’t have said.

She seethes, “Money? Food? Gas? The fuck?”

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