My eyes search the ceiling, landing on a brown water stain in the corner. Gross. “I can’t recall exactly, but he made it clear that he was enjoying my company. And we kept talking. He said some funny things and the awkwardness sort of...” I shrug as I search for the words to describe the way the vibe shifted. “I guess the tension more or less melted away. And then we started clicking.”
“Funny things.” She’s writing again, nodding along as she goes. “Tension melted. Clicking. Got it.”
With my phone propped up on the nightstand, I roll onto my side and tuck my hands under my cheek as I watch my friend pretend to take notes on my date. I’m starting to think she’s drafting her business plan out for her future company rather than writing notes on my slightly awkward date.
“Okay, now that we covered what happened. Tell me how you feel.”
“Are you my therapist now?”
“What do you mean now? That’s what I’ve been going on ten years now. Next, we’ll discuss your childhood. We’re not done unearthing that pesky religious trauma.”
“Hush your mouth, woman,” I mumble with a chuckle.
She sets the notebook and pen beside her on the floor and smiles at me. “You look happy.”
“I feel happy. I mean, the morning was shittastic, not gonna lie. Passed over for yet another job and—” I cut myself off before I let it slip that I was so broke and hungry I couldn’t think straight.
“And what?”
I opt for a partial truth. “And I was starting to feel like I made a mistake by coming here. Ever since I found out about my parents, I’ve been a mess. Especially after losing Papa. I thought it would get better when I got here. But I’ve been circling the drain.” I tug in a deep breath. “Meeting James feels like turning a corner. Better things are on the horizon.” I close my eyes, covering my face with my palms. “Sorry. It’s cheesy, and I know what you’re going to say.”
“What am I going to say, Lettie baby?” Her voice drips with sincerity. She knows I’m struggling down here. Even if I try to hide it. She knows.
“You’re going to say I shouldn’t let a man define my happiness.”
She reaches behind her, grabs a big red novelty button, and smacks it. A shrill buzzing sound fills the space. We laugh together.
“So you weren’t going to tell me that?” I ask.
“Not this time You need this win. I’m gonna let you have it.”
“So it’s okay to be happy strictly because I might like a guy?”
She quirks a brow and lowers her voice to a sultry purr. “I thought you said he was a man, not a guy.”
I mock fanning my face. “Oh yes. He certainly was.”
“Hot?”
“Yes. Short blond hair. Blue-green eyes that you could get lost in. He’s tall, lean, and fit. He definitely works out. His forearms were drool-worthy.” I sigh like a swooning teenager. “But it was more than that. There was this quiet, stillness about him that I found so comforting. He was steady. I’m not sure why, but it made him all the more attractive.”
“Steady and still? Not sure how that equates to attractiveness, but what do I know? I pick my lovers based on kink compatibility.”
“I can’t explain it. There was just something about him that made me feel protected. I felt like he could just take away all my worries with a wave of his hand.”
Her brows dance. “A thrust of his cock, you mean. A wave of his hand over your clit.”
A robust laugh escapes her, and I join in, nearly snorting. “I mean... I don’t think I’d be opposed.”
We laugh again, giggling it up like we’re at one of our sleepovers from years past.
“Well, I’ve got to jet. I need to hit the bank before it closes, and then I’m going to the gym to pretend to work out.”
I finish her standing joke for her. “But secretly, you’ll be watching Mike Blackwater do squats.”
“Guilty as charged. You know how I love leg day.”
“Oh! Before you go. That reminds me of something James said.”