Page 284 of Unexpected Hero

My mind is too full of everything she showed me to allow me to rest, though. Even if I could sleep, I’d eventually have to wake up again. That’s one of the worst parts.

When you wake up, there’s a moment of bliss when you don’t know where you are. You forget you’re in hell.Then you remember again, and it steals that solitary moment of respite from you. A literal thief in the night.

No. I’d rather stay awake.

At least when I’m awake, I can control some of my thoughts. Well... for now.

“Will you sing again?” she whispers.

“Okay.”

The melody and lyrics come with almost no mental prompting. Some words break through to the front of my mind, surrounding me tightly in a cozy cocoon.

Saved my life. Roped and tied. Sugar bear. You’re a butterfly.

Closing my eyes, I envision James’s blue-green eyes and how they looked into mine with tenderness and affection. Especially when he was making love to me. He’d often scoop my hair out of the way to see my whole face, and he’d let his gaze cascade over me like a waterfall.

Our connection was beautiful.

All the intelligence and steadiness hidden behind the mask he wore so well provided shelter from the chaos inside my head. And when he’d bind me in his ropes, all the world disappeared.

Each tight band was a warm hug, holding me together and setting me free all at once.

And he was with me through it. Checking in with me. Caressing me. Kissing my nose or my head. Or other parts.

Complete euphoria.

I’ll treasure those quiet moments with him. They were the only times my mind was silent.

My tender memories are suddenly disintegrated when screams start coming from the other room.

I cup my hands over my ears and remember how he held me like I was precious, allowing the mental image to tuck me back into that cocoon and drown out the sounds of suffering.

James would never hurt me like these savages do. Even when he was in Dom mode, he was gentle and loving.

I loved him.

No. Not loved.

I love him.

They’re not taking that from me, either.

Losing track of time, my eyes grow heavy once more. I don’t know when I stopped singing.

Right before I’m tugged under, I’m startled alert by the power snapping off. Light no longer peeks in from under the bedroom door. The house is instantly silent as every appliance and ceiling fan cuts off at once.

Then there are screams.

I reach out for Tasha, finding only empty air where she was sitting. Did they haul her out while I was in dreamland?

Panic assaults my every fiber until I remember the hidden space she showed me. As the men begin yelling at each other and the girls, I crawl into the closet and pop open the panel on the wall.

Creeping in silently, I hide.

Like a coward.

But at least I’ll be alive.

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