Page 13 of The Secrets that Surround Us

“Fiona, I know I don’t but I want to. Stay here. I’ll be right back.”

He leaves the bathroom before I can respond. I take the moment to close my eyes and try to center myself. This is beyond anything I thought would happen. Honestly, from the reputation I had heard about Alex at the wedding and even a little of what Hazel had told me,I didn’t expect this. Not sure what I expected, but this wasn’t it. So far, he’s been a dream.

What feels like mere seconds later, but in actuality is at least a few minutes, Alex returns with a cup of tea. When I sniff it, the scent of ginger fills my nostrils. “What is it?”

“It’s just a simple ginger tea. My mom used to make it for us when our stomachs would hurt. Or at least that’s what Mateo would say when he made it for me growing up.”

Bringing the cup to my lips, I take a tentative sip. The warmth of the tea fills my belly, and I’m able to keep it down initially. Crossing my fingers, I hope that’s true, and it will help me. I start sipping bigger gulps and drink the tea down as quickly as I’m able to. Once I’m done, I hand the cup back to him and stay still for a moment. My stomach eases, and I think I’ll even be able to get up. Before I can move though, Alex holds a hand out to help. “How do you feel?”

I place my hand in his. “A little better.”

He pulls me up until we’re standing face to face. “Do you think you’ll feel well enough to try some toast?”

I nod. “Yes, I would like that. Let me grab my phone, and I’ll meet you in the kitchen.”

“Perfect.”

Turning away, he leaves and heads toward the kitchen. I follow him out of the bathroom but make a pit stop to grab my phone. Slowly, I make my way to the kitchen and sit down at the breakfast table, trying not to make any fast movements. As I scroll through my phone, I see the message from my doctor’s office. “Hey, Alex?”

“Yes?” he says as he puts a plate of toast in front of me.

I wave my phone in the air. “I forgot to tell you I have my first appointment today for the baby. Do you want to come with me? I mean, you don’t have to. Only if you want to.” I ramble on, keeping my eyes fixed on the toast in front of me, not wanting to read any rejection on Alex’s face.

A large hand grips my knee. “Fiona, look at me.” Not being able to help it, I tilt my face straight to his. “I want this. Of course, I’ll go with you to the doctors. What time is the appointment?”

“At ten in the morning.”

He glances down at his phone. I can see that he pulls his calendar app up to check his schedule. “Okay, let me reschedule this appointment. I’ll be ready to go at nine thirty. Does that work?”

Hand trembling, I place them in my lap trying not to let him see my nerves. “Yes, that will work,” I breathe out.

Pushing away from the table, he stands up. “Great. I’m going to get ready. Make sure you eat that toast, and we should talk to the doctor about your nausea.”

Without another word, he leaves me sitting there with my jaw on the ground. Alex has thought more about my needs in the last twenty-four hours than my parents ever did while I lived with them.

Chapter nine

Alex

The drive to the doctor’s office is silent; we’re both in our own heads. Trying to figure out where we go from here. We arrive ten minutes before the appointment, and my heart is pounding hard against my chest. All I ask for is that Fiona can’t hear it. I keep my face as neutral as possible; I don’t want Fiona to know how nervous Iam. Holding my hand, she leads me into the waiting room. We continue to sit in silence as we wait for the doctor.

Since the moment she told me she was pregnant with my child, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. I was just the guy who had fun, not boyfriend material. Never wanting to be chained to one person. Seeing how my dad disappeared and became a whole different person when my mom died, I never wanted to feel that.

The night I spent with Fiona was the first time I ever even had the feeling of wanting to be with someone more than once. The pull I felt to her was strong, but I was still not sure I wanted to pursue it. When she left me, the feeling of disappointment hit me hard. But I still needed to come to terms with dating her and what that might mean.

Now I’m going to be a father. She’s going to be the mother of my child. My gaze goes straight to her stomach. It’s still hard to fathom that she’s growing a child in there. Not just any child either mine. My hands sweat with the knowledge of how much responsibility rests on my shoulders now. I pull at the collar of my shirt, and the world around me fades away. I’m only able to focus on the fact that I’m going to be a dad, and there is a high probability that I’m going to fuck this up. Suddenly, it feels as if the walls of this waiting room are closing in on me. What the hell am I doing? Can I really do this?

“Alex?” A soft voice draws me out of my panic. When I look up toward the voice, my eyes connect with Fiona’s cocoa brown ones, and everything seems to slip back into place. The panic I seemed to have been drowning in, recedes. She is my lifeline. I suspected I wouldn’t be able to let her go when she waltzed back into my life, but now I know. Making everything right with Fiona is going to be the only way I’ll make it through. Her eyes soften as I stare at her. “Are you okay?”

My hand reaches out for her, and she comes willingly. “I am now.” Her eyebrows draw in and I can tell she has many questions she wants to ask me, but I’m not quite ready to explain to her what is going on. Thankfully, I don’t have to when a nurse calls out, “Fiona?”

Fiona answers the nurse as she stands up, pulling me along with her, hopefully forgetting my freakout incident. “Here.”

We follow the nurse into an even smaller room, where she turns to Fiona. “Mom, you’ll need to strip from the waist down and then climb up on the table there. Here’s a sheet to cover yourself for modesty. Dad, you can sit in the chair next to the table. The doctor will be in shortly.”

She then leaves us standing there dumfounded as we stare at the door, hoping that this might all be a big joke. Fiona shakes out of it faster than me. She turns to me. “Do you mind?”

“Do I mind, what?”

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