Page 141 of Dust to Dust

After holding open the door to the interfaith chapel, Callum ushered us inside. Only one man sat on one of the benches. At the sight of us, he quickly got up and left.

Once we were alone, Callum locked the door. When he turned back to me, he said, “Tell them what you said to me in the hallway.”

I stared into their expectant faces. “I’m done.”

Dare’s eyes popped wide. “You want out?”

“It’s not about fucking wanting it. I’m out.

“But you can’t do that,” Seamus countered.

“I don’t care about the fucking oath. I’m done.”

Seamus shook his head. “This is your birthright and your family.”

“What more can this fucking family take from me?”

“Quinn—”

I threw my hands up in desperation. “I’ve given my blood. I’ve been disfigured. Now it’s taking the only woman I’ve ever truly loved.” I shook my head. “I’m fucking done.”

“You’re in pain. You’re not thinking clearly,” Callum argued.

“There’s nothing left for me. Without Isla, there’s nothing for me in our world or in this fucking miserable life.”

Seamus stepped up to place his hands on my cheeks. “Oh son, I know just how you feel. After Rian and then Elena, I didn’t want to live.”

“Why didn’t you just check out?”

“I came close once or twice. But then something always stopped me. Some tiny flicker within me that grew as time went on. Most days, it’s a muted flame, but it’s still hope. There’s hope for me, and there’s hope for you. You’ve endured so much physically and emotionally that I understand why you feel as you do.” He shook his head. “You have to keep fighting, Quinn.”

“I don’t know if I want to.”

Kellan cleared his throat. “I felt like you did for a long time after Maeve’s rape. I didn’t want to be part of such a world that bred men like our father. I feared I would somehow give over to the dark side.”

He swallowed hard. “Even though I didn’t talk about it with you guys then, you got me through–even though you didn’t know it.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “We’ll get you through this, Quinn. Just don’t fucking give up on us or yourself.”

Although I wanted to turn and flee, Isla had brought me too far to do that. Instead, I didn’t shy away from letting my brothers see my tears. “I feel like I’m on fire again, but there’s nothing that will ever douse these flames.”

“We’ll figure it out. We’ll find a way,” Callum said.

Dare nodded. “We’ll see you through.”

I wanted to feed off their strength. I wanted to believe with that tiny flicker that Seamus spoke of. But it all seemed too desperate.

“Come on. Let’s get you home. You need to shower and sleep,” Seamus said.

“So it can all look better in the morning?” I bit out.

Seamus shook his head. “No, that’s utter bullshit. You’re still going to feel like hell, but you will be a little better physically.”

At the thought of going home and seeing Brooke and Henry, I shuttered my eyes in pain. “I can’t go home.”

“You need to be with the people who love you,” Seamus protested.

“I can’t see Brooke and Henry.”

“Then you can get a hotel room.”

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