Page 44 of So Smitten

Then he left to find Gaucho.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

With no leads to follow up on and closing on thirty-six hours with no sleep, the three agents returned to the hotel.

Michael, as always, had no trouble finding sleep. It was one of the qualities Faith most admired in him, the ability to shut his mind off when needed, no matter how desperate the situation. Faith wished she could rest like that.

In the Marine Corps, she had been able to sleep at the drop of a hat and wake just as quickly. That was crucial in an environment where action could occur at any moment, and one needed to be prepared for it. She had kept that skill for the first eight years of her FBI career. Then Trammell…

Then Trammell. It seemed like those were the most important words of her life. Then Trammell. She was able to relax, then Trammell. She was happy, then Trammell. She was confident, then Trammell. She was a great friend, then Trammell.

She wondered sometimes if West’s appearance on the scene only exacerbated a problem that existed before him. She wondered if he had never shown up if she might have found someone else to fixate on. Trammell had been the turning point of her life. West was merely the avatar of the depression and trauma that now ruled her.

She checked the time. Two o’clock. Desrouleaux would just be returning from lunch. She picked up her phone and dialed.

“Faith,” he said, “Didn’t expect to hear from you.”

“We hit a lull,” she said. “We’re catching a few hours of sleep before it’s back to the grind.”

“I feel you there. I wish I could get a lull.”

Faith smiled sympathetically even though Desrouleaux wasn’t there to see it. “Have you made any progress?” she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“Well, none of your other acquaintances have been murdered,” he said, “No sign of West yet, though. I’m not sure if that means he’s made his point and is laying low or if it means the surveillance is working at deterring him.”

“So no news?”

“No news, and I hope that means good news, but after two years plus chasing this guy, I don’t know if I should let myself hope that much.”

“Hope springs eternal,” Faith said, “but it never catches you on the way down.”

“A springboard, not a trampoline,” he agreed. “What about you? How are things on your end?”

“Frustrating as usual,” Faith said. “A whole lot of pieces but no idea what the puzzle is yet or how to put it together.”

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me. The Syndicate is a serious outfit. I’m surprised the Bureau didn’t want Organized Crime handling this.”

“Well, between you and me, I think the Boss is just trying to fill my time so I don’t go after West again.”

“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said, “He only does this because he cares about you, you know.”

Faith bristled but controlled her reaction. “Yeah, I know. I just don’t like living looking over my shoulder.”

“Yeah,” he said, “I get that. Well, I gotta get back now. Chavez is staring at me the way my wife stares at me.”

Faith chuckled. "Hopefully, not exactly the way your wife stares at you.”

“Oh, Faith,” Desrouleaux said with an exaggerated sigh. “It’s kind of you to think that, but even my wife hasn’t stared at me like that in over a decade.”

Faith laughed and exchanged goodbyes with Desrouleaux. After she hung up, she steepled her fingers together and leaned her elbows forward on the table.

So West had chosen a random person from her past and killed him, then disappeared. Maybe he just wanted Faith to remember he was there.

A memory returned to her of one of the early sessions with West when they were exploring their military service. She recalled it first during the interview with Desrouleaux, but it came back now in sharp and clear detail.

“Well, this Decker was important to you, Faith, even if you don’t realize it,” West insisted. “You were intimate with him, and even if it seemed to you like it was only scratching an itch, it was certainly far more than that. You chose to reach out for human contact, and when you did, you chose Decker.”

“I chose him because he had a nice smile and abs,” Faith replied, “he’s not exactly the one that got away.”

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