Page 58 of A River of Crows

Sloan huffed. “It’s not the same, and you know it.”

“We’d help with your mom,” Noah said. “And it’s close. Close enough to drive home every weekend.”

Sloan squeezed her fists, forcing her fingernails into her palms. “I wouldn’t come back every weekend. The whole point would be to get away.”

An owl hooted in the distance. “You wouldn’t want to see me every weekend?” Noah asked.

Sloan looked away, sifting the words in her mind like sand, trying to soften a blow she didn’t want to administer. “I just think I’d be lousy at long distance. I mean, aren’t most people?”

“You wouldn’t be lousy at it. I could go there on the weekends. We would make it work.” A line etched between Noah’s eyebrows. “Unless you’re telling me you don’t want to make it work.”

Sloan wasn’t sure what she was trying to tell him. She loved Noah. Always had. A part of her wanted him to follow her to school because he’d always been a safe place for her. But another part of her craved a new place. A new life.

But when she looked into Noah’s eyes, wet with tears, she couldn’t say any of it. “I do want to make it work. I’m sorry. Everything just feels turned upside down right now.”

Noah scooted close, putting his arm around her. “We’ll figure it out, Sloan,” he said, rubbing her back. “That’s what we do. Figure things out.”

Over the next month, Sloan completed her application to Mallowater Community College. She completed her FAFSA, chose her classes, and visited the campus.

Without telling anyone, she did the same for LeTourneau. Sloan had told her mother she was staying; she’d told Noah she was staying; she’d even told herself she was staying, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell LeTourneau.

The tour of the LeTourneau campus only solidified her mother’s words—she would never fit in. These students had money, family, and faith. Arguably, the three biggest deficits in her own life. Yet, it was hard to close the door on a free education. Noah didn’t seem to grasp that, and why would he? His parents were paying for him to go to college. For Noah, college would just be an extension of childhood. One where he could practice adulthood without having to foot the bill.

She glanced at the clock. One more hour until her shift at Blockbuster ended. At least she didn’t have to close tonight. She’d get home in time to catch Friends and Seinfeld.

Sloan was ringing up a customer when her manager, Danny, came behind the counter. “I’ll take over. You’ve got a phone call in the back.”

Sloan squeezed her eyes shut. “Is it about my mom?”

Danny bit his lip. “It’s Officer Dawson, so maybe.” He touched her shoulder. “If you need to go, just go. It’s slow tonight.”

It wasn’t slow. Customers were everywhere. Danny was just being nice. Nicer than Sloan deserved. Noah claimed Danny had the hots for her, but Sloan never got that vibe from him. He was just a nice guy. As glad as she was for the flexibility, she hated being unreliable. Hated that he pitied her.

Sloan jogged to the employee area in the back of the store and picked up the phone.

“Walt? What’s wrong?”

“Caroline’s in Tyler.”

“Tyler!” Sloan tugged at her hair. “Why?”

“At Anna’s house. She tried to kick in their door. When Anna called the police, your mom climbed up on their roof. She’s refusing to come down.”

Vomit burned the back of Sloan’s throat. This was her fault. She shouldn’t have mentioned the day Anna showed up at their house. It must’ve got her mom thinking about her again. Obsessing again. “What should I do?”

“Nothing. I’m heading that way now. I just wanted you to have a heads up before it’s on the news.”

“The news? They already got wind of this?” Sloan asked.

“Noah’s on his way to get you and take you home.”

Sloan hung up the phone with shaky hands. She realized she should go with Walt. But she couldn’t bear the embarrassment of seeing her father’s family out in the street watching along with the rest of the neighbors and the journalists. Word would reach her dad by morning, and he’d shake his head and think, Poor Caroline. What’s become of her? As though it wasn’t all his fault.

Sloan felt dizzy. She closed her eyes but only saw the flashbulbs of cameras just like the ones she’d seen when her dad was arrested. The news would have a field day with this. Every detail was going to be dug up again. No hole was deep enough to keep her past buried.

She searched for a trash can, but it was too late. She threw up all over the break room table just as Danny entered. “Sloan, Noah is—” he stopped when he saw the mess.

“Sloan?” Noah came in right behind Danny and put his arm around her. “Are you alright?”

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