Page 5 of Pretend Girlfriend

“Paperwork, mostly,” he said with a grimace. “It’s actually really boring. If I talked about it for more than ten seconds, you would deduct another two points from my score.”

I laughed, but I felt a little disappointed. I had hoped that Theo was a dentist. I’d never dated anyone in a big-wig profession like that. But if he was a full-fledged dentist, he definitely would have bragged about it.

“Well, it can’t be more boring than my job,” I said.

Theo leaned back in his chair. His chest was so broad with muscle that the buttons of his shirt drew tight. “You’re a lawyer, right?”

“I have a law degree and I passed the BAR exam,” I said. “But I’m just a paralegal.”

Theo gestured with his drink. “I bet you’re doing good work, at least.”

“My boss is an ambulance chaser. We sue people. I hate it.”

“Oh.” Theo blinked his almond eyes. “Well, what do you want to do?”

“I’ve got my eye on a job at a defense contractor.”

“Yeah? Like, you’d be the lawyer for missiles and shit?”

“Hah, not quite. I would be doing contract law. But I actually kind of like that sort of thing. Drawing up the contracts for weapon purchases. Missile defense systems, aircraft maintenance agreements, that sort of thing. It was my favorite part of law school.”

“Sick. You should definitely call yourself a Missile Lawyer though.”

I laughed again. Theo didn’t seem like the sharpest pencil in the box. The hot ones were always kind of dumb. But he was friendly, and I was drawn to him. No point deduction for being dumb.

“Got any good first date questions?” he asked.

“First date questions?”

“You know. The kind of get-to-know-you questions you reserve for a first date.”

“I have a few,” I admitted.

Theo crossed his thick arms over his chest. “Hit me with your best one.”

“Let’s see. Have you ever broken a bone before?”

“Oh yeah, a bunch of times,” he replied. “You want the full list? First time was when I was five.”

“How about the last time you broke a bone?”

“Last year.” Theo shook his head. “I was riding my bike home from the day game of a Cubs double-header. A pickup truck ran a red light and hit me.”

I gasped. “Seriously? Are you okay?”

“Sure, it wasn’t too bad. I broke a rib. Thankfully, the doctor said all the bleeding was internal.”

“Why are you acting like that’s a good thing?”

“Because that’s where the blood is supposed to be,” Theo replied. “On the inside.”

I took a sip of my drink to cover my laugh. I was pretty sure he was joking, but I wasn’t positive. It was definitely possible that Theo was a Golden Retriever: big, handsome, and dumb.

“Your turn. Any broken bones?” he asked.

“Just once. We took a family trip to the Grand Canyon. I slipped on some rocks and landed on my elbow. Snapped my arm like a twig. I had to ride out of the canyon on a mule!”

“Look on the bright side,” Theo said. “Free mule ride.”

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